 "Photo: Stephen Waniak")
11:20 a.m.: Arrive at South Station, congratulating yourself on another successful subway navigation.
11:23 a.m.: Collide with third stranger since getting on the T.
11:25 a.m.: While climbing stairs in bus station, jump aside as guy sprints down the stairs past you. Admire his agility and try to pick up some tricks to use the next time you're running late for class.
11:27 a.m.: Begrudgingly purchase a ticket for the 1 p.m. bus to Chinatown. Hunker down in terminal in preparation for a 90-minute wait.
11:32 a.m.: Realize the woman in the red Fung Wah windbreaker is yelling at you. Look around, confused, before finally realizing she's telling you to get on the bus that's waiting outside. After running through the doors and throwing your backpack in the compartment underneath the bus, climb on and see two empty seats. Give yourself a mental high five for "sneaking onto" this much earlier bus.
11:33 a.m.: Realize your cell phone is sitting on a chair in the bus terminal. Jump up and scramble to the front of the bus and ask the driver to open the door.
When met with a blank stare, explain again that you need to run into the terminal for a second. When the door finally opens, try to explain to the woman standing outside what happened. Finally run inside, grab cell phone, and run back out to the bus.
Walking down the aisle, mutter apologies to seated passengers for holding everything up, and sit back down. Realize you won't be able to make eye contact with anyone on the bus for fear of embarrassment.
11:34 a.m.: Bus finally pulls out from Gate 25.
11:45 a.m.: Pass by a Boston University billboard and realize that your friend wasn't joking when he told you the school's mascot is a terrier. Decide amusement is a more appropriate reaction than pity.
12:17 p.m.: Realize the sleeping guy next to you is drooling on himself. Debate waking him up to save him some embarrassment, but eventually decide to try to get some sleep.
12:19 p.m.: Marvel at how obscenely comfortable the headrest is. Wonder what's inside. Space-age synthetic foam? Luxurious goose down?
12:31 p.m.: First intrepid soul makes the perilous walk down the aisle to the foreboding bus bathroom. Watch the hapless woman cling desperately to seatbacks as she crawls her way unsteadily to the back of the bus. Adamantly swear that no matter what happens, you're holding it in. Anything is better than making that trek.
1:48 p.m.: Wake up groggy and disoriented. Remember you're on a bus. The confusion having subsided, you become aware that your head is resting on the shoulder of the guy sitting next to you. Sit up quickly and assume a nonchalant expression and pretend nothing happened. Wonder if the drool on the guy's shoulder is his or your own.
1:50 p.m.: Bus slows down a little and starts making weird noises. Remember Fung Wah horror stories (most of which contain raging engine fires) and become convinced explosion is imminent. Try to remember if anyone made it off the bus in Speed. Curse Keanu Reeves for being so forgettable.
1:54 p.m.: Take out the Spartan roast beef sub you bought from McElroy for the trip. Remind yourself to fill out a suggestion card informing McElroy staff that in order to be considered a "sub," the sandwich must have cheese, tomatoes, and, ideally, onions.
2:12 p.m.: Drive past car accident and watch everyone else rise from their seats and twist their necks at painful-looking angles. Get a nice, proud feeling for being the only person mature and sophisticated enough to not look.
2:33 p.m.: Wonder what state you're in. The realization that you can't see road signs from your seat and have no way of ever finding out makes you feel vulnerable and helpless. Decide the only solution to this dilemma is another nap.
3:21 p.m.: Begin thinking about what to do with the money you saved by taking the Chinatown bus for a mere $15. Decide a puppy would be a good investment. Make a mental note to run that one by RA, and, if you have time, roommates.
3:39 p.m.: See a New York Yankees logo on a billboard and immediately feel at home.
3:57 p.m.: See Chinatown outside the window. Get out of seat and immediately curse your luck at having gotten a seat in the back. Prepare yourself to stand in the aisle for 10 minutes while everyone else gets their bags down from the overhead storage space. Congratulate yourself on having made it all the way from Boston to New York.
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