Kurt Cobain had thought about dying his entire life. Fed up with crippling stomach problems that had plagued him since childhood, making death seem like the only viable option, the Nirvana frontman said, "I wanted to f-ing blow my head off. I was so tired of it." Instead, he resorted to heroin, and for the first time in years, the pain subsided. Cobain said, "I don't regret it. That's because I used [drugs] as a pain medication to get rid of a pain. In that sense, I do not regret it." Having just started a family, Cobain even went on further to say, "I knew that I would eventually stop doing them. Being married and having a baby is a good incentive. Eventually if I were to keep doing drugs, I would have lost everything. I have a lot of reasons to not do drugs."
His defiant music will continue to influence generations to come, but nearly a year after this interview took place, Cobain was found dead in his Lake Washington home, from what was declared to be a self-inflicted shotgun wound to the head. In the almost 14 years since that day, Cobain's life story has been often fantasized, but no artifact has come close to showing the true Kurt Cobain. The music, which Cobain described as, "A mixture of every emotion I've ever experienced: anger, death, [and] absolute total bliss," can only tell us so much about the man.
About a Son goes to the source itself, allowing Cobain to make sense of his life story - one second in charge, and the next morbidly vulnerable. The narrative is pieced together from excerpts of more than 25 hours of unreleased interviews with journalist Michael Azerrad, author of Come as You Are: The Story of Nirvana. The interviews were conducted between December 1992 and March 1993 at Cobain's home, and took place between midnight and dawn.
Cobain, the only voice heard in the film, is first heard during the opening score, which was composed by Nirvana producer Steve Fisk and Ben Gibbard of Death Cab for Cutie. Cobain reveals, "I don't think I am going to be any more open with my personal life with any other interview in the future."
About a Son is not a documentary, but plays out as an autobiography. In the 97-minute film, there is probably less than five minutes of actual footage of Cobain; instead, producer AJ Schnack took Cobain's voice and projected it over a humble Pacific Northwest backdrop. Schnack carefully chose scenes from the three Washington cities that influenced Cobain the most: Aberdeen, Olympia, and Seattle. The scenes subtly reflect the insight in Cobain's revelations, aptly showing the vulnerable nature of society. The film is also driven by an electric soundtrack, which does not feature any tunes from Nirvana, but rather looks to artists that influenced Cobain during his life, ranging from David Bowie and Queen to the most obscure punk bands.
Cobain's childhood unfolded in the boring logging town of Aberdeen, where he transformed from an innocent 8 year-old to an alienated manic-depressant high-schooler that he describes as, "the kid who was probably most likely to succeed in bringing an AK-47 to school and blowing everyone away." Cobain passed up on scholarships to art school, only to become destitute and ponder the question, "How successful can a band be if you mix heavy Black Sabbath with The Beatles?"
About a Son sees the world through the eyes of Kurt Cobain, who is incredibly insightful and even prophetic at times, seeing himself as part of the last innocent generation. He says, "Everything was very basic and almost medieval compared to nowadays," citing an increase in violence and widespread alienation. Fourteen years later, the world still struggles with this loss of innocence.
Surprisingly, About a Son finds Kurt Cobain at peace with himself - looking forward to raising his child and, "tired of hating people so much." Sadly enough, Cobain left us before he could put it all together. The man may have been vulnerable, but the music will never die. A
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