December is a month dedicated to partying. There are parties celebrating everything from "study days," to the end of finals, to the fact that you have given up writing that 25-page paper. But as any seasoned partier can attest, the holidays bring up new party challenges.
How do you make it to a party in a blizzard and still look presentable? How can you turn your smelly dorm into a winter wonderland? Where are those secret underground (and hopefully heated) tunnels when you need them most?
When these deep questions challenge your belief in partying, you need to consult a Holiday Party Survival Guide. Whether you need some drink ideas or a reason to go out into the arctic night, hopefully this column will help you find some answers to your holiday party conundrums.
How to look cute (or even somewhat decent) at a party when it's less than 20 degrees outside:
Try to limit yourself to less than seven layers of clothing. This means only two sets of thermal underwear, two tank tops, a long sleeve T-shirt, a sweater, and a down parka. Try not to dress like an eskimo.
Remember, if it's snowing, stick to waterproof makeup, especially mascara, because no one wants to let you into their holiday party if you look like you're dressed for Halloween. Streaky makeup will just make you look like a melting witch.
Avoid falling into snow banks on your way to and from the party. Although it may seem like a fun idea at the time, your limbs are valuable and frostbite is no one's friend. Also, watch out for black ice. Nothing spells early retirement like a slip, a fall, and a broken tailbone.
How to find your jacket at a party:
Try to leave your jacket in the coat room (aka the room of the guy who lost Beirut and must now let random strangers throw their smelly coats on his bed). This is a much better solution than simply stuffing it under a random couch in Ignacio. Who really knows what, or even who, is under that couch?
Also, try to leave your coat with your friends' coats so that whoever is the most coherent can rescue them from the "coat room." You'll be grateful when you still have your coat the next day and it doesn't reek of Natty Light or some other mystery beverage.
Holiday party drink ideas:
Rum-spiked eggnog, hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps or triple sec (the "snow bunny"), or red and green Jell-o shots really bring out the holiday spirit in everyone. If you're feeling extra spirited, try a "Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer," made with rum, lemon juice, grenadine, and cranberry juice on ice. Or simply decorate your keg with Christmas lights and garland.
How to decorate for your holiday party:
Put up enough Christmas lights in your common room to put Vegas to shame. You can also make snowflakes using all the rough drafts of crappy essays you printed at the computer lab on the "free" paper.
What to do if it's too cold to go out:
Although any true partier would go out in a blizzard (who really needs sensation in their left leg anyway?), if you must stay in, you should watch Home Alone and order pizza. But really, go out now before you're chained to a cubicle in O'Neill Library and the only party you can go to is a review session in Gasson Hall.
Happy Holidays!
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