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Reality Bytes: Dancing with the Stars

By Joseph Neese

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Published: Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Updated: Saturday, November 14, 2009

I'll admit it: Until this season, I've never paid attention to Dancing with the Stars (DWTS). Things changed, however, when I was lying down ill in my dorm room and turned on Oprah to cheer myself up. Lo and behold, the queen of all media hosted a DWTS special that evening, and my life was changed forever.

What drew me in aside from being a former dancer and being stunned by amazing footwork from past winners - all beginning dancers - was the revelation of this year's stars, which includes a stunningly interesting female cast, minus Shannon Elizabeth, the girl from the webcam scene in American Pie. It includes Olympic gold-medalist figure skater, Kristi Yamaguchi; Grand Slam-winning tennis star Monica Seles; Tony Award winner Marissa Jaret Winokur; Academy Award winner Marlee Matlin; and Pricilla Presley.

Much to my dismay, Seles, who gushed that she finally had her prom night, turned out to be awkward and was sent home in the first week. Meanwhile, our other "M" Marlee has amazed the entire country, keeping perfect count and having amazing rhythm, despite her inability to hear.

I felt this week that the judges were overly hard on Winokur, who looked like a knockout in a plaid ensemble. It's like they don't expect her to be good because she is a short, pudgy girl. She pulled in the lowest score, although she danced better than almost every man on the floor. The guys this year aren't that talented; it makes no sense to me how Steve Guttenberg, Adam Carolla, and Mario pulled in higher scores than she. Her technique wasn't perfect, but she was such a convincing performer one doesn't notice. That's how she won a Tony, and that's why she won my vote.

As for Yamaguchi, she owns the show, and everyone knows it. She pretends that her figure skating was not a helpful asset in her success on the show, but her experience with choreography and technical stunts clearly was. Yamaguchi looks like a professional, poised and full of grace. She has emerged as a master technician, scoring nine out of 10 from each judge on her first three dances, thereby claiming the first week's highest score ever. Her one fault: She is as emotionless as Paula Abdul.

Yamaguchi seems unstoppable, but perhaps the older Presley, who has slower chops, can take the prize. This week, she emerged as the dark horse of the competition. But who knows, there are many more delicious weeks of DWTS to come.

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