Insert Alec Baldwin & Ireland joke here:
Alec Baldwin named his child Ireland. Seriously. He may have done so 11 years ago (or 12 depending on whom you ask), when one presumes she was born, but we either never knew or quickly forgot. Suddenly, Ireland is back in the national spotlight for reasons other than a mid-March American boondoggle into a dark, drunken, hopeless abyss. Actually, that is probably exactly what this is, too. A voice-mail in which Baldwin told his daughter she was a "rude, thoughtless little pig" has recently leaked to TMZ.com, the good folks who brought us the Michael Richards rendition of The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. In response to what a good custody lawyer would probably call Baldwin's "interactive storytelling," ex-wife Kim Basinger has demanded 24-hour security around Ireland. Baldwin, on the other hand, claims Basinger leaked the tape in the first place, further inquiring as to whether she was "one of those health freaks."
Judge, but not jury, 'Gone Wild'
Joe Francis, the artistic visionary responsible for the Girls Gone Wild franchise/masterpiece, is going to jail for one easy payment of 35 days for contempt of court, after referring to his judge - and this is true - as a "judge gone wild." Get it? The whole escapade began after Francis refused to settle out of court with seven girls he filmed who were minors at the time. Get it? In the settlement hearings, Francis verbally abused the women. Francis is also slated to appear before a federal grand jury next month after being indicted for $20 million in tax evasion. If convicted, Francis would face yet another prison sentence of up to 10 years. No word yet on the status of the much-anticipated documentary of his upcoming stint, tentatively titled Fragile Baby-Faced Millionaires Gone to Prison: First Timers. Get it?
Edward Norton, Smash!
Edward Norton has agreed to smash the roles of Bruce Banner and the incredible Hulk in the upcoming The Incredible Hulk, a film not to be confused with 2003's Hulk, which was apparently somewhat less than incredible. Louis Leterier, artistic director for Transporter, will direct and Spider-Man 3 and producer Avi Arad will, well, produce. In a recent interview, Arad hinted that Hulk will sport a literal shade of gray, insinuating it was "the new green."
Be the first to comment on this article!