1. Lindsay Lohan calls Obama the "first colored president"
And she got upset when people called her "firecrotch"?
2. Aniston feels "seriously protective" of boyfriend John Mayer
The nine-year age difference brings out her motherly intuition.
3. Kim Kardashian to guest star on How I Met Your Mother
If she marries sex tape co-star Ray J, that's one story he won't be telling their children.
4. Beyonce thinks she should play Wonder Woman
Thereby proving she's not so much "Crazy in Love" as just plain crazy.
5. Ne-Yo to appear on Rosie O'Donnell's new variety show
When he sang "Closer," I don't think he had O'Donnell in mind.
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