1. Shia Labeouf injured on set of Transformers sequel
It's called karma, Shia. The world is getting revenge for the existence of a Transformers sequel.
2. Kim Kardashian gets kicked off Dancing with the Stars
She thought she signed up for Associating with the Stars.
3. David Archuleta to make acting debut on Nickelodeon
The Disney Channel also courted Archuleta, but apparently a date with Miley Cyrus wasn't enough of a draw.
4. Leonardo DiCaprio announces he's ready for marriage
In other news, the entire U.S. female population proclaims they'll never let go.
5. Britney Spears goes back to school for a cause
No, the cause was not her lower-than-average I.Q.
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