After watching the grueling election cycle this year, I couldn't help thinking, "Why hasn't Hollywood made a movie about the presidential election?" Clearly Hollywood doesn't avoid politics or politicians, and it didn't even take long for Oliver Stone to make his W. biopic.
But come on, this election has almost everything: pantsuits, bitter gun owners, a living corpse, and Mormons. How has Hollywood not jumped on this? But then it hit me. "Where is the femme fatale?" This election needed a hot chick (sorry Hillary) who can also kick your ass. And this election got its answer - Sarah Palin.
This is the woman who is going to make Hollywood producers jump all over this story. Palin is the missing piece to this great tale. I can already imagine Julia Roberts lighting up the silver screen in her role. Oh, and the plotlines are endless. Palin has an affair with John McCain and secretly kills him to get the presidency. Palin has an affair with Barack Obama and has his baby, and they act like it's her daughter's. Palin has an affair with Joe Biden and they collude together to take the presidency. Basically, any plotline where Palin uses sex to control men and then overpower them would fit perfectly into the Hollywood plot.
All the story needs is a few explosions. (It already has sniper fire.) Yet, in traditional Hollywood, the femme fatale never wins. She got arrested in The Maltese Falcon, got shot driving away in Chinatown, and electrocuted herself in Batman Returns. This leads to the question about Palin's fate - how should she go? Because she is just a completely awesome character, I say she should fight the head of some big oil company with a hockey stick on the top of the Empire State Building. (Ask Michael Bay how they got there.) But there is an inconsistency here because Palin has to win the battle. On second thought, she should just stay alive so she can come back in the sequel.
After the climax, we need to have the ending where everyone learns something and goes home happy. For this election, they will all come together and say that we need more hockey moms in presidential elections. People will criticize McCain for choosing her for political reasons because she is a hot younger woman ... but clearly McCain just wants to see himself being played in a movie.
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