Through The Grapevine

Thank goodness for Lindsay Lohan. Even when she has nothing to promote, Lohan manages to get herself into magazines over and over again. This month Lindsay can be found recreating Marilyn Monroe's famous final photo shoot in New York magazine: nude. The pictorial was shot by Bert Stern, the photographer from the original 1962 spread. Lohan said she "was comfortable with it," although she did do 250 crunches the night before, just in case. It isn't the naked pictures that I find amusing, because honestly, she's done worse; it is her mother's comments. The always-introverted Dina Lohan spoke out less than 24 hours after the pictures hit the Internet, making sure to give her stamp of approval. "It was very tastefully done. I look at them artistically," she said. In a long line of justifications, Dina says that the magazine is not Playboy. Lindsay was playing a character, which makes it all right. Gotta be honest, I don't see a distinction between pretending to be someone else and dressing up in a Playboy spread. Maybe I am just not that artistic. But the kicker comes when Dina admits that 14-year-old daughter, Ali, accompanied Lindsay to the shoot. The little sister wouldn't have been able to go if the situation was "risque." I would like to see the dictionary that is being used in that house.

Worried about how you will look in your bikini during spring break? Well, it looks like you may soon be getting some help from Jessica Simpson. In 2005, during a brief lull in her career, Simpson starred in a workout tape produced by Speedfit. The singer signed a multi-million-dollar contract, but later changed her mind and refused to give final approval of the tape. Speedfit owner Alex Astillean sued Jessica last year for $10 million, but no settlement was reached. Now Astillean is going after Papa Joe Simpson. The reason for the suit: The Simpsons "are hurting millions of fat people in America." I hope that is not seriously his legal reason.

Six months after trying to end his life, Owen Wilson is ready to get back to work. The recovering actor will be starring in Marley and Me, a comedy about a writer who adopts a mischievous dog. Jennifer Aniston has reportedly been cast as Wilson's wife. The comedy is based on a book by John Grogan, who is thrilled by Wilson's involvement in the project, saying, "We don't look anything alike but I think his personality will be a great fit to my own." Shooting begins in Miami on March 10, while final release of the project has been slotted for Christmas Day.