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Hockey is back, whether you knew, cared, or couldn't be bothered. With a revamped set of rules to open up the ice and increase the speed of play, as well as a salary cap to create parity, the "new" NHL is designed to bring former bottom dwellers to the forefront of the league. And, with over one-fourth of players donning different sweaters this season, odds are in favor of a new vanguard of dominant teams. So to get everyone up to speed with where your favorites have relocated to and whose bandwagon to jump on early, here is a quick rundown of early favorites for the Cup, presented in perhaps the best means of expression I know: an eclectic mix of Family Guy quotes ...
Detroit Red Wings
Peter Griffin: You know what I haven't had in a while? Big League Chew.
The Wings have been legitimate contenders for practically the last decade, perennially reliable like the aforementioned gum of our tee-ball days, and, despite taking a hard hit from a reduced payroll, still have the pieces to make one last run. Unfortunately, Hockeytown now has a few more AARP members. Do Shanahan, Lang, and Stevie Y have the skill to put up big numbers again? Probably not. But the youth movement of Pavel Datsyuk, Jason Williams, and Henrik Zetterberg should. A solid blue line corps headlined by Niklas Lidstrom will also help, providing enough support for the mediocre goaltending duo of Osgood and Legace. Injuries could kill the Wings in the long haul, though, and, this time around, there will be no room to spend on a veteran presence.
Nashville Predators
Meg: Mom, guess what? I made the Flag Girl squad!
Stewie: Flag Girl? Um, yes, good for you. Now you can be somewhere else when the boys don't call.
Didn't know Nashville even had a team? Like your high school flag squad, the Preds do, in fact, exist and even made their first trip to the playoffs during the '03-'04 season. They will also be the poster boys for the new economic landscape. As most teams dropped key players due to bloated payrolls, Nashville maintained stability by continually drafting wisely by stock-piling low-priced talent. Coupled with the signing of former star Paul Kariya, the Predators have the depth to succeed, despite players who are largely anonymous to the casual hockey fan. Up-and-comers Marek Zidlicky and Ryan Suter will strengthen a questionable defensive unit, though they will be a much more formidable duo down the road. Thomas Vokoun is arguably the top goalie in the league. Look for the Czech to put up Vezina-worthy numbers en route to the club's first division title. A NHL championship, though, is still slightly out of reach for such an inexperienced group.
Vancouver Canucks
Brian: Peter, did you read the fine print on this loan contract?
Peter: Um, if by "read" you mean imagined a naked lady, then yes.
The Canucks have the most dominant line in the league in Markus Naslund, Todd Bertuzzi, and Brendan Morrison, who combined for over 200 points in the previous campaign. The key is how Bertuzzi will react amid incessant booing this season after his highly-publicized, brutal attack on Steve Moore. He'll need to return to having "moves of Lenarduzzi" (I congratulate anyone who actually gets that reference) for Vancouver to stand any chance with its triumvirate since the organization forgot to read the fine print in building a successful team - that "team" consists of more than three players. Dan Cloutier is a capable backstop, but he will need to make a huge leap this season, as the offensive firepower alone just isn't going to bring the Cup back North.
Tampa Bay Lightning
Peter: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... Lois, this isn't my Batman glass.
The Bolts succeeded in the offseason simply by keeping the core of a Stanley Cup winning group together despite little cap room. Vincent Lecavalier, Martin St. Louis, and Brad Richards, though eating up a large portion of the salary, have proven they have the poise and skill to win. Beating up on weak divisional opponents like the Capitals and Hurricanes all year should put Tampa into the postseason easily. Come playoff time, though, the loss of Nikolai Khabublin in net will prove difficult. The 'Bulin wall (i.e., the prized Batman glass) was a dominant force through last year's run. His replacement, John Grahame, is a virtual unknown with a lot of talent, but it remains to be seen if he can be an adequate substitute in pressure situations. That missing piece could make a repeat much more difficult, even with Hulk Hogan rooting them on.
Ottawa Senators
Peter: A boat's a boat but the mystery box could be anything! It could even be a boat!
The Senators are loaded on offense with plenty of young, creative talent. Jason Spezza and Brandon Bochenski will step right in with established playmakers Daniel Alfredsson and Martin Havlat. Recently acquired Dany Heatley could push the Sens over the top, but only if he fully recovers from an eye injury suffered last year, as well as the trauma of his car wreck while with Atlanta. This is a team that will easily lead the league in scoring. But then there's the mystery box, 40-year-old Dominik Hasek.
Calgary Flames
Meg: You could kill all the girls who are prettier than me.
Death: Well, that would just leave England.
This was a squad that fought its way to the finals before the lockout and has only improved since then. Jarome Iginla is the best player in the league, a great combination of skill and physical dominance. A solid supporting cast featuring newcomer Tony Amonte, in addition to Daymond Langkow and Shean Donovan, provides depth. And a young, tough backline including Jordan Leopold, Robyn Regeher, and rookie Dion Phaneuf will solidify the blue line in front of Vezina Trophy finalist Miika Kirpusoff. The Flames should keep most games low scoring, providing grind 'em out victories when the offense falters. As ugly as it is, this punishing style was effective in pushing them to the finals. It could very well work again.
San Jose Sharks
Peter: Pictures are better than words because some words are big and hard to understand.
Young. Fast. Talented. The Sharks are impressive from top to bottom. And, although most people couldn't pick any of their players out of a lineup, let alone pronounce some of their names (Niko Dimitrakos anyone?), watch them skate and you'll see why they will win their division this season. Patrick Marleau and Jonathan Cheechoo are among a few Sharks who will benefit from the rule changes, which provide room to showcase their blinding speed and skill.
Philadelphia Flyers
Peter: I've got an idea, an idea so smart that my head would explode if I even began to know what I'm talking about.
The Flyers are absolutely loaded, and I'm not just saying that because I've been bleeding orange and black my whole life. This was a team that was one win away from the Cup finals in '04. So what did GM Bobby Clarke, typically of the archaic mindset of slow, plodding hockey, do? He blew up the roster, signing the most creative playmaker in the league in Peter Forsberg, grinder Mike Knuble, and two dominant defensive presences in Derian Hatcher and Mike Rathje. OK, so it may not be a complete overhaul in thinking, but it isn't just the new signings alone that will bring it home to Philly this year. Underachieving star Simon Gagne should put up huge numbers with line-mate Forsberg. Prized rookies Jeff Carter and Mike Richards will be an immediate impact. Defensively, Kim Johnsson and Joni Pitkanen are offensive-minded threats that can move the puck, and goalies Robert Esche and Antero Niittymaki are arguably the deepest tandem in the NHL. The only thing that can stop the Flyers are themselves.
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