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This new season of the ACC has really brought something to my attention, something that seems almost every other school in the conference has surpluses of, while we at Chestnut Hill look like the one kid who didn't get to see the movie everyone is quoting.
We at Boston College have a brilliant academic tradition, one that brings pride to all of us and our alumni, and we are beginning to claim we are at an equal level on the playing fields. But we can't claim that yet because we don't have one essential ingredient. We have no athletic traditions; we have nothing the rest of the country has ever even heard of.
This weekend all we heard about was the so-called "25 most exciting seconds in college football" as our Eagles defeated the Clemson Tigers in a great overtime game. The Heights reported on it, The Boston Globe reported on it, and the game announcers didn't stop talking about it. Clemson has tradition. They have a Rock, they have a Hill, and they get to call their home "Death Valley." BC took the victory home, but I hope we also took something else away, which is the need for something special.
Maybe we could steal a play from the Tigers and put something in Alumni all the Eagles touch before taking the field. My first thought was Doug Flutie.
Just have him stand there, maybe give him a uniform and pads so it wouldn't hurt too much, and just have every player give him a little love tap, maybe even a big bear hug from Kiwi.
But the idea of a real person seems a little far-fetched, so how about a statue to the god of BC football, a golden one, maybe even with a halo above his head? We wouldn't have to worry about Doug getting bruised or knocked over, and it could remain forever inside the rituals of BC.
And if you have been reading your Exodus lately and know that God forever condemns the use of false idols, maybe you would be more inclined to the idea of adding some Jesus in there.
It certainly couldn't hurt to add some Christ praise into our Jesuit games. Notre Dame has had that Touchdown Jesus work out for them, why not us? We could use St. Ignatius, put him above the end zone, and all recite the prayer for St. Ignatius 10 minutes before kickoff.
And if we really wanted to get crazy we could make a mascot of St. Ignatius and call it Iggy, but some might call that sacrilegious and a distraction from Baldwin. And if we don't erect a statue or plush figurine, how about we just starting to chant, "At least Jesus loves you" to our opponents when they walk dejected off the field?
And because I'm not so absurd to think that my ideas are immediately going to be called into action, I would at least like to implore of you Superfans, as some alumni have of me, to put off your revile for an extra five minutes and stand at attention for the singing of the Alma Mater. You don't even have to join in if you don't want but just stand there like we care.
But maybe we don't even need new traditions, maybe all we need is some new names for our stadiums to join the ACC elite. I mean Death Valley, the Swamp, The Big House; Alumni Stadium doesn't really strike the hearts of opponents with fear, and neither does Conte Forum for that matter. How about we come up with some cool names for them?
We could call Alumni "The Nest," or embellish the Heights and call it "The Mountain." Maybe even "Mt. Flutie?" Or if we are looking for something more terrifying, "The Volcano." Just picture 45,000 yellow clad people bouncing up and down, spewing out of The Volcano.
How about Conte becomes "The Talon." Now that would be pretty sweet if you ask me. ACC teams would hear all about traveling to Chestnut Hill and having to suffer through their experience at The Volcano and The Talon, or whichever gets chosen. We could even rename the Newton soccer and field hockey fields, the "Forbidden Forest" or "The Jungle," and Brighton Campus' fields could be "The Graveyard" in honor of the tomb of Cardinal O'Connell.
OK, so maybe I don't carry the necessary clout to start a mass movement for BC athletics, but it's worth at least starting the conversation.
We look lost in this new conference, not on the actual playing fields, but in the pride and emotion that is poured into them on a weekly basis by our opponents down South.
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