It got Will Ferrell as George W. Bush in 2003. And in 2004, Sacha Baron Cohen told students, "Let's talk bout de future - your future. A lot of you iz probably worried bout employment. Unfortunately most of u will end up gettin' jobs - especially now u iz got de burden of a degree."
This year, Harvard is getting former president and alum Bill Clinton on commencement eve. That's the day before actual Commencement, not even the big show. And in case you were wondering, Bill Gates, who dropped out of Harvard to develop his multibillion dollar business, is its commencement speaker this year.
As you read this - yes, seniors, I'm talking to you - our commencement is only 49 days away. Between now and that fateful day, we have mounds of exams, final papers, group projects, and the dreaded thesis to complete before we can shout, "Hurray! No more school! Well, not until September because I'm going to [insert grad school name here]!"
Or if you're like me, you're thinking, "Oh no, I don't have a job yet, and I can't live at home, and I'm hyperventilating."
So you probably haven't thought about our commencement speaker, and I don't blame you. But it is our day, and we should care who marks the end of our four years here at Boston College.
Our most recent speakers include Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice, humanitarian Paul Farmer, and Meet the Press moderator Tim Russert. All of them are very respectable, very accomplished, and very worthy of not only our attention, but also an honorary degree from BC.
But let's face it: most of us would still rather have someone a little cooler, a little edgier. There's a reason why actors and comedians are often commencement speakers - people want to be entertained.
Or if they aren't hip by MTV standards, someone awe-inspiring that's influenced the course of history. Say, someone like Madeleine Albright, who will speak at the commencements for both UNC and Wellesley College.
My friends who have graduated before me still say that they would have dozed off no matter how cool the commencement speaker was simply because Senior Week tired them out. But I still like to believe that I would rub the sleep out of my eyes for someone exciting and cool, and at least it'd be something to brag about.
Our commencement speaker has probably already been chosen, so my suggestions are in vain. But juniors, hopefully you can use these next year.
How about Jon Stewart? He's funny, and he's not afraid to criticize anyone and hold him or her accountable for their actions. An experienced satirist, Stewart would probably cut BC down a few notches, which would be hilarious.
Maybe he'd even give a few pointers on how to use humor effectively to both criticize and entertain. I bet he'd have some interesting things to say regarding the upcoming 2008 election without imparting too much of a bias, and it would be great to hear about his experience hopping from job to job before landing the gig of his dreams.
Or how about Margaret Marshall? Sure, her name isn't famous in pop culture, but she is the first woman to serve as a Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court justice.
But most importantly, she was the one who wrote the controversial decision in Goodridge v. Department of Public Health, saying the state constitution does not permit the state to deny citizens the right to same-sex marriage. Born in South Africa, Marshall led a student movement to end oppressive minority rule and achieve equality for all South Africans. Talk about an activist.
Or how about Bob Woodward, the reporter who broke news of Watergate? Or Ellen DeGeneres? Or Spike Lee? Or Toni Morrison?
In selecting the commencement speaker, universities should think about who the students would want to hear, not who would make the school look good. We're going out into the real world, and we're nervous.
For one last time, inspire us, and please, make us laugh too. Let's hope that happens on May 21.
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