Survivors Take Back the Night

A crowd of students gathered in O’Neill Plaza to lend support to survivors of rape and sexual assault last Wednesday, in the annual Boston College “Take Back the Night.”

The presentation featured seven speakers who related their experiences in hopes of gaining closure for themselves and providing education for others.

The event began with performances by BC a cappella groups The Acoustics and Voices of Imani. Representatives of the Women’s Resource Center introduced the speakers by providing a few facts about rape and sexual assault.

They stated that one in four women will be raped or sexually assaulted in her lifetime, and one in six will be during their college years. It was added that 86 percent of these women will know their attacker.

“Violence strips us of our rights and freedom, and has found its way into all aspects of humanity,” they said, adding; “only when we break the silence and make our voices heard can we gain the respect and dignity we deserve.”

Megan Gerson, A&S ’00 and a representative of the Sexual Assault Network, told the audience that “stories like these need to be told, and we’re here to listen. We must create an environment that is intolerant of rape — and that goes beyond being there for the survivors after it happens.”

The first speaker, “Lauren,” stated “I thought I lost a part of myself two years ago, but what I have to realize is that I have lost nothing; I’ve actually become stronger.” She detailed that after her attack, “I always thought I was a strong person, who my friends could always come to with their problems … I felt like I had let everyone down.” “Lauren” stated that the most important lesson that she learned from her counselor was that “by not fighting back, I saved my own life; because when I did try to fight back, I got hurt.”

“Kat,” the second speaker, warned fellow survivors that “if you continue to hate him, he will become every stranger or man you ever see.”

The second speech was followed by a performance by the Sharps, who sang “Terms of Endearment” and “I Don’t Feel Like Cryin’ Anymore.”

“Catherine” stated that all women “need to take better care of yourself, and better care of your friends,” in order to prevent rape and sexual assault. She also cited a need for students to be more sensitive to the feelings of survivors, and not to be careless with their speech. “People will say, ‘I just got totally ‘raped’ by that econ test’… and it hurts. You just have to be careful with what you say; you just don’t know who’s around, and who can hear you,” she said.

“Eileen,” the next speaker, was abused by a boyfriend who “said and did all the right things … and I fell for it.” She denounced the common opinion that women in abusive relationships “stay because they enjoy the pain. Oh, yeah, I really enjoyed it every time he hurt me,” she said sarcastically.

“Crysta” conveyed her experience through a poem entitled “Picture Perfect,” in which the problems in her abusive relationship were obvious through close examination of a photo of the seemingly happy couple.

“Lindsey” told the audience something that she fully realized after her rape, that “unconsentual sex equals rape.”

She added, “there’s a difference between moving on and forgetting about it. If you forget, you leave yourself open for it to happen again.” “Lindsey” also reminded those present, “don’t let silence become the accepted way to deal with abuse.”

“Lauren” stated that her sexual abuse “doesn’t define me, but it has become part of my definition.” She reflected on her abusive relationship, concluding that she does not regret it because of the strength she gained from her experiences. She stated that she has found the strength to enter into a new relationship, in which her boyfriend “loves me not in spite of my flaws ... but because of them.”

The first portion of the evening concluded with a prayer, led by Chaplain Dan Leahy.

Leahy stated that “violence is not merely a violation of the body, but also harms deeply a part of the soul ... It has the capability to scar a person forever.” He condemned violence as “an affront to God, contrary to God’s desire for us to be whole individuals,” and prayed for strength and courage for the survivors, their families and friends, and all those who are still coming to terms with their abuse.

The group then began marching from O’Neill Plaza around campus, led by candlelight. The participants, in order to make their presence known and raise rape awareness, chanted phrases such as “Join together, free our lives, we will not be hypnotized.”