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"When I woke up this morning and saw the snow, I thought to myself, 'If you're going to have a series on women, of course Mother Nature would want to show up,'" said Dawn Overstreet, assistant director of the Church in the 21st Century (C21).
Braving the snow, nearly 100 audience members filled the Heights Room for the second installment of the C21's series on women in the church, "Called to Be Catholic: Practices that Nourish Women's Spirituality."
The panel featured three Catholic women who shared the unique experiences that shaped their relationship with Catholicism and the customs they practice today in order to sustain their faith: Kate Carter, IREPM alumna; Sister Mary Sweeney, SC, Campus Minister; and Nancy Pineda-Madrid, assistant professor of the theology department and IREPM.
Carter spoke first, discussing her traditional Catholic upbringing. As a child, she grew very attached to the church. Although this left her with cherished memories, it also presented a few challenges with which she continues to struggle today. "I believe these struggles offer the most growth and potential," said Carter.
She referenced author Sue Monk Kidd's idea of the "feminine wound," which asserts that merely being born female puts women at a disadvantage and renders them inferior.
"I really internalized that idea as a child. I didn't trust my instincts, I doubted myself deeply, and I didn't trust the authority of my own experiences," said Carter.
Referring to herself as a "lifelong Catholic girl in recovery," Carter said she constantly served others before herself until working in impoverished areas here and overseas in her 20s opened her eyes to the life she was leading. "I began to look at the world through the eyes of these people, and not the top-down authority I had been viewing myself through."
Carter began to question the structures that she had put so much faith into in the past, and the internal doubts telling her she was never good enough began to be challenged in a battle that she still fights today.
There are three areas she focuses on to protect her "internal sacredness:" personal solitary practices, activities in the community, and constructive practices.
Carter said, she tries to center herself at least once a day or on the task at hand. By doing something mindfully and fully immersing herself in her present actions, Carter keeps herself present in her emotions and learns from them.
She also tries to rest when she can. "I'm trying to exercise the spirituality of 'no,'" said Carter. She finds holiness in rescinding her need to be responsible for everything and taking time to take care of herself.
Carter also finds herself guilty of being an "over-giver." After talking with friends, she realized she never let herself receive because she was scared of the vulnerability produced by being open to others. "I need to know interdependence, so I don't always have to be in control. My gifts are more authentic out of that place."
Within her community, Carter is actively involved in her ministry and small groups of women, not all Catholic. Although she loves her church, it cannot nourish her in the ways other women can, although she hopes that will change in the future.
"In my women's groups, I feel that my whole self is welcome, not just the pieces the church acknowledges," said Carter.
She also expressed her belief that she needs to be part of something constructive for her spiritual practice. To achieve this goal, Carter works with other women in non-violence workshops that teach women to be peacemakers in their own daily lives.
"We recognize our brokenness and accept that it's okay. Through these workshops, I offer my own growth and journey as a resource," said Carter.
Pineda-Madrid spoke next about her experience as a Catholic "in the margins." Growing up in New Mexico and Texas, different images and food shaped her religious imagination and stretched it beyond the boundaries of traditional Catholic teachings.
"We would have enchiladas for dinner, and when I was young, they were just quesadillas. But as I got older, my mother would add more chili since I could handle the spiciness as I was older. I think that marks my growth, not only physically, but spiritually as well."
Pineda-Madrid said she always felt that, somehow, her religious experiences were different. Institutions and authority figures did not define her faith. "I had a different sense of what it means to be Catholic," said Pineda-Madrid.
When she lived in Seattle, Pineda-Madrid attended Spanish masses at odd hours since those were the times no one else wanted the church. Although it hurt, Pineda-Madrid said it also acted as a blessing since she was able to pray regularly.
After participating in a sweat lodge with Native American Catholics, she redefined confession and her faith. In the pure darkness, she and the other members confessed their personal and collective sins and were cleaned by the steam.
"Every few years, I go into nature on a silent retreat to be renamed by God," said Pineda-Madrid. She also cited speaking to and maintaining relationships with female spiritual directors.
"I want women to guide me because the symbol of femaleness functions so powerfully," said Pineda-Madrid.
Sweeney spoke last of her three methods of nourishing her soul: trips to the ocean, keeping a journal, and keeping the liturgical calendar.
Growing up in Dorchester, Mass., beaches were always accessible to Sweeney and were a large part of her life. As she grew older, the ocean took on a more spiritual meaning for her. The sight of such a vast body of water puts her own troubles in perspective, while listening to the waves puts her in touch with the more elemental things in life. The coming and going of the waves remind her that although some problems can seem enormous, soon enough they too will pass.
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