So let's get the awkward introductions out first. I'm Nick, the new Heights-approved, jaded, indie record-store-clerk equivalent, brought in since Greg decided he wanted to go wax philosophical on the Op-Ed page. We wish him all the best and would like to remind him to buy paper towels. So a lot of you may be asking just what I plan on doing with the space they've given me. Will I discuss the bands and artists of highly-industrialized western European nations other than England? Will your voice be heard? Will I be shining light on a bevy of new and unheard bands that will totally change the way you think about God and human existence?
The answer to all those questions is a resounding yes. 2005 was a big year for albums, so much so that it seemed like anyone with a bit of bandwidth and an Oink account was putting up their top picks. I have a top 10 list, but it's pretty boring and unremarkable. Just throw Broadcast, Deerhoof, Black Dice, and Out Hud into a blender and hit frappe. You get the idea. There were a bunch of records that ended up on nearly everyone's best-of lists that made no sense to me. It seemed as though people gave up on the old notion that rock music is intended to piss off your parents, and just decided to try their hardest to get onto an NPR All Things Considered sampler. Mediocrity, away!
The Constantines - Tournament of Hearts
Hey it was inevitable right? Canada's original great white hope traded in their bluesy ache and sense of abrasive dynamics for a set of songs that were flat out boring. That's not to say there weren't a few great moments scattered about. "Draw Us Lines" and "Hot Line Operator" percolates with the same slow burning intensity that made songs like "Young Lions" and "Seven a.m." powerful and assured statements. Even so, it can't make up for the dumbed-down Bachman-Turner Overdrive rip "Working Full Time." Arcade Fire better check themselves 'fo they mess themselves.
Broken Social Scene - Broken Social Scene
I should like this. I've spent more than a healthy amount of time trying to figure out how I can't like this. I mean how many people do they have onstage when they play? 57? This is what happens when indie rock stole Andrew W.K.'s recording budget. Let's call this one 120 tracks of mediocrity laid to tape.
Sufjan Stevens - Illinois
OK, it's a cute gimmick and even an effective album at times, but in the end it stumbles under the weight of its own pretensions. Stevens is at his best on spare albums such as his previous entry Seven Swans. Stevens comes off like a Reading Rainbow piece on new folk indulgence. I guess it's not that bad, but it didn't command my attention nearly as much as I suppose it was meant to.
Architecture in Helsinki - In Case We Die
I can only take so many tuba interludes, and In Case We Die definitely tries my patience for them. Not so much horrible as just flat out disappointing, this record is like a wee marching band parading through a field of smiling rodents, all wearing brightly colored clothing.
But the rodents are still rodents and it makes you want to avoid them. In Case We Die can't help the fact that its eyes are way too big for its stomach, resulting in diabetes and childhood obesity. It's so ridiculous. I know.
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
Proof positive that Pitchforkmedia needs to revaluate its place in the world, this album appears under the Webster's entry for "boring." What were these pretenders doing saving indie rock? I guess what the world really needs now is a microwaved Yo La Tengo - Talking Heads pinch loaf.
Devendra Banhart - Cripple Crow
No one screams "I WANNA BE DONOVAN" quite as loud as bearded Devendra Banhart. Cripple Crow carries on his penchant for ultimately boring, slightly creepy, child obsessed, flower power pap. See if this makes any sense…Devandra Banhart + Synthesizer / Dance Steps = Michael Jackson?
Next thing you know he's going to move to Bahrain and make a video with an adolescent Macauley Culkin.
Nicholas Feeley is a junior in the College of Arts and Sciences. His column appears weekly in this space.
Be the first to comment on this article!