Five a.m., but it doesn't matter: it's Goldeneye time. Empty Mountain Dew cans lay scattered around the dark and muggy basement, while countless popcorn kernels find themselves wedged between couch cushions. At this point in the night, there is an honest effort to be quiet, as 30 minutes ago your friend's father came downstairs yelling about having to wake up early for work. But who could be quiet at a time like this? Andrew has won five games in a row, Brandon is looking on other people's screens, and now Ricky roams Facility with an RCP-90.
In 1997, Nintendo 64's Goldeneye fulfilled, even if in just a small way, a fantasy of every male in America.
While some refuse to admit it, the truth of the matter is that every guy wants to be James Bond. There's something about the intellect, suave demeanor, and tuxedoes that strikes a chord in the heart of every male American.
But for anyone who doesn't fully understand this (I'm looking at you, ladies), allow me to elaborate.
In general, action heroes are rather predictable and follow a cookie-cutter form (Vin Diesel, Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, etc.). They shoot up the room and ask questions later. Without hesitation, they walk into the party with guns ablaze.
There's no substance to these kinds of films and they provide little entertainment.
But Bond, on the other hand, charms the hell out of anything and everything to get the job done. While reckless behavior certainly is in his repertoire, he is not dependant on it.
In addition, as opposed to other action stars, Bond is a relatively smart guy. Whether he's playing golf against Goldfinger or disarming a bomb, it's evident he could get by without walking around shooting up the place. This is the heart of the matter and the basis of why, at one point or another, every guy aspires to be Bond.
Some do this by ordering a vodka martini (shaken, of course) and others by test driving an Aston Martin (although, to the dismay of many, rocket launchers are not yet a standard feature).
It's the charm, class, and wit which provide the series a strong fan base of wishful thinkers.
Dane Cook claims that every guy wants to be part of a heist, saying, "You know every time you watch the movie Heat, you're like, 'I wanna do that!' You just wanna be running down Main Street with an AK-47, 'Where's the van? The van was supposed to be here!'" And I would like to take the opportunity to set the record straight.
This is a misperception. In fact, you'd be hard pressed to find anyone who wants to stroll down the street with an automatic weapon.
Although Bond has gone through his fair share of ammunition, the movies are comprised of far more than gun fights, which come as added bonuses to an already clever and fast-paced series of movies.
In addition, some are often quick to chime in and say the only reason guys want to be Bond is to get girls. This, too, is not the case.
The fact that James Bond sleeps with a lot of women is not a driving force behind his appeal to men. It's the fact that, if so inclined, he can be with any girl. The man walks into a party and, before even talking to a women, he has already either won a high-stakes poker game, made a witty remark, or saved someone's life. When I walk into a party, before even talking to a girl, I have already either spilled a drink on myself, told a couple bad jokes, or tripped and fell. And I know I'm not alone.
Unfortunately, the recent Bond movies have begun to deviate from the classic Bond style which seems to be a regular occurance at the end of a Bond era (Sean Connery had You Only Live Twice, Roger Moore wrestled through Moonraker, and, most recently, Pierce Brosnan starred in Die Another Day). In these, 007 become more reliant on his gadgets as opposed to his charm. Luckily, with the release of Casino Royale, fans can feel a sense of relief that Her Majesty's most renowned secret agent will hit the big screen with uncheck charm and class.
Be the first to comment on this article!