As we return to campus and settle in for second semester, the friendly greetings are abundant. "How was your break?" "What did you do?" "Did you get to see a lot of friends from home?" The most common, semi-robotic inquiries appear to be following our every move. And while "goodnotmuchyeahyou?" has rolled off my tongue for the past seven semesters, I have been thinking a lot about what it is I do, and more importantly, whom I spend my time with.
Sure, after the first semester of college, I was eager to run right back home to my high school friends and tell everyone about the awesomeness that is Boston College (OK, I probably didn't word it quite like that, but you get the idea). Being from a small town with less-than-chipper public education, a decent chunk of my friends didn't go to college full time. A good portion of them went on to do trade work. Some became carpenters, others truck drivers, or Harley Davidson repairmen. My hometown friends, most of them guys, are an interesting bunch. They are the kind of folk your parents take one look at and immediately hang their heads in shame, wondering what exactly went wrong with their child to make her associate with "these people." But, after my Mom and Dad got to know the boys beneath their tattoos and obscene T-shirts, they welcomed them into our home and knew that deep down they were good dudes.
Supportive of my choice to enter higher education, my home friends nevertheless found it difficult to understand why I would want to spend so much money on "useless things like English and art." They were also afraid of me becoming the stereotypical college girl - snobby, slutty, and worst of all, preppy. I reassured them that I would stay true to my Abingtonian roots.
Once I got adjusted to the new environment of BC, I was eager to tell my friends from home about my roommates and my peers at school. Not surprisingly, they teased me and asked if I had run out and bought the latest J. Crew catalog. But my guy friends were not the only curious creatures. Everyone at BC wants to know about who their new roommates and friends are, so I gave them a little background of myself, and told them about the boys. They seemed slightly perturbed that most of them were not in college, lived in a seedy area of town, and held death metal as their favorite musical genre. They also couldn't grasp the idea of everyone having a different nickname. And while I tried to casually inform them that "Nugget" was a tad obsessed with McDonald's, "Sprocket" loved to work on cars, and "Lunchbox" was a bit heavyset, they thought I was hanging around some sort of freak show with an abundance of social maladies.
I decided to set the record straight one night and did the unthinkable; I brought the guys out of their natural habitat and had them enter a college residence hall for the first time. Not surprisingly, the exchanges were awkward. As time wore on, however, my roommates could begin to understand why I seemed a bit different. Despite their deepest efforts to embarrass me in inappropriate ways, the guys did just enough bonding to result in another hangout session with my collegiate peers.
Now, in my final semester at BC, I wonder what's going to happen next. Will I immediately go back home and become best friends with the guys again or will I spend most of my time with my former suitemates and the college gang? Regardless of where I am and who I see more often, I have learned the meaning of friendship. Friends should be people who excite you, encourage you, make you feel safe. Friends should respect you, regardless of your hobbies and interests. My friends from home have stood by me, joking all the way, of course. My friends from BC have recognized this. While the group dynamics differ greatly, my BC friends respect my hometown friends; some BCers have even gained new life insights from learning about their slightly simpler ways. And while I don't foresee my college friends hanging out at the local auto body shop or the guys from home perusing the Chestnut Hill Mall, I am thankful that regardless of who I spend more time with, I can be who I want, and never feel the need to change just to fit in.
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