Column: He said / She said

"My roommate likes terrible music. I can't stand it. Otherwise, we get along fine but I can't stand the music he chooses … I'm pretty sure he puts Maroon 5 loudly on loop every day. The worst part is that when we have parties, it's just a constant power struggle to control the music, and I'll always realize that he's somehow gotten a hold of the iPod when "Gimme More" starts blasting. I've tried to solve this the passive way, but it's done nothing. I don't want to say to him 'Your music stinks,' so how else can I solve this?" - Lester Bangs He Ain't

Lisa says: You could suggest he wear headphones next time he opens iTunes because you have to concentrate really hard on the Youtube videos you're studying. You can keep a hawkish watch on the iPod at parties, stick a beer in your roommate's hand and turn him away every time he approaches. Or you could tell him you really don't appreciate his music tastes. You like his choice of posters, his picks from the liquor store, and the groups of girls he invites over Friday nights. But his music … eh.

It's possible be good friends while suffering from music incompatibility; my roommate happens to enjoy JT a whole lot more than I do and we coexist quite happily. During parties, you should pay more attention to the people around you and the triumphs and defeats at the beirut table than to the music. I honestly stop noticing what songs are on after the first 15 minutes. And chances are, at least some of your roommate's choices can't be painful to listen to. Lighten up.

Rather than accusing him of poor musical preferences, take a pre-emptive position and offer to supply the soundtrack as soon as you walk into the room. Mention bands you think he should check out, or mercilessly tease him the next time he plays Lifehouse.

Take a minute for an honest convo. Play your music louder than his. Or just make things simple: invest in a pair of headphones for yourself and call it a day.

Ryan responds: All right, let's bang out the answers and move on because I don't really like this question that much. Let's start with the fact that we are talking 'bout music, as Allen Iverson would say. Could you argue over anything more trivial? It's not like he's "sexiling" you from the room for extended periods of time or keeping you up by playing World of Warcraft at 3 a.m. You simply have different tastes in music. This is not unusual. I would even venture to guess that everyone who has had a roommate has had some disagreement over what comes out of the other's speakers.

Everyone else has no problem dealing with this. So, why do you?

Well, it's mainly because you refuse to say anything because you are worried about hurting his feelings. That's really sweet, and I am touched that you are so considerate. If you do not explicitly express your concerns with your roommate, however, he will not change. Just sit him down, let him know how you feel, and be as blunt and forward as possible. If you aren't, you will not get the results for which you are looking.

If it makes you feel better, you can ask if there is anything he would like you to change. After you both have discussed your issues, you can kiss and make up. Then you can laugh about how ridiculous it was to drag this out for so long.

"Last weekend I drank a lot, and eventually I ended up blacked out … that's bad, I know, but that's not the biggest problem. I was talking to some girl I'm pretty interested in, and now I have no idea what I said to her, you know, whether I confessed my love or what. Now I am dreading seeing her again, and I have no idea how I can broach the topic. None of my friends heard anything I said, so it could have been completely normal stuff or it could have been something otherwise. I'm worried it wasn't so normal. How do I find out?" - Slamfaced Seducer

Ryan says: If you didn't mention that you were blacked out or this wasn't a college newspaper, I would probably think that I was getting a question from a 12-year-old junior high school student. And, although you are not 12, that won't prevent me from talking to you like a child. You like a girl. Instead of doing anything about it when you are sober, you wait until you are black-out drunk to pick her up. In a lot of ways, that's riskier. You could have said anything. Perhaps you were a real Casanova and now you have her wrapped around your finger.

But, in reality, you probably embarrassed yourself. That's OK, though, because damage control is something I have become quite good at. First, assess what kind of impression you made based on those around you that night. If you were loud, obnoxious, and asking girls if they wanted to go to the "pants party," there was probably a good chance that you felt bold enough to tell this girl how you felt. If you were mellower, there may be a chance you didn't spill the beans.

If your performance leaned toward the former, then I would call her and ask her if she had a good time at the party. (She won't have to ask you because it sounds like the whole party knew that you had a good time.) Then, depending on how your conversation goes, you may want to ask her to lunch. At some point, you are going to have to take a chance, and it might as well be now.

If she says no to lunch, you need to stop talking to girls you like when you are drinking. But if she says yes, then you were probably making a bigger deal of this than you thought, and you may have a shot. Good luck and don't blow it.

Lisa responds: Any chance someone noticed how drunk she was? Best-case scenario is that she doesn't remember either.