Column: He Said / She Said

"I'm a senior and there's this guy I've had my eye on for awhile, but my roommates are discouraging me from doing anything because they tell me there is no point - we're graduating in less than a month. Should I tell him how I feel or just finish my senior year having fun with my friends?" -Senior Regrets

Caitlin says: Until now, I have refused to answer any question mentioning the dreaded "g-word," but since it's my last column, I'll finally open those floodgates. Deep breaths. OK. So the truth is, though we will smack anyone that mentions it, yes, in less than a month the administration is kicking the class of 2007 (including yours truly) out of Boston College. We're stepping off the cliff and leaving many questions unanswered - but somehow, they always come back to the relationships we have made here.

Is it the time to start another relationship? Seniors are split between "carpe diem" and "what's the point"? I'm not even sure I'm supposed to reveal this, but a meld of these mindsets is seen in the "Senior Week Five" phenomenon: a list of five guys or girls you've always wanted to hook up with and will finally pursue before the end of Senior Week mayhem. When you're an overemotional, overdrunk, overtired, overexcited mess. Great new relationship environment? Probably not. No one expects these relationships to last - though I suppose, you never know, Guy Number 3 could end up being the love of your life - so what if you want something more meaningful?

Settled into a cozy grad school for two years? Is this potential boyfriend a senior too? Or, uh, a freshman? There are so many variables hitting post-BC life and relationships.

While May Boyfriend Hunt 2007 is a bad idea, if you fall upon a situation, don't deny it. You never know what can happen. Even if Namibia is your destination, this less-than-a-month long relationship could be amazing. Grad school? More promising if it's in the same area as that guy. Don't change your life for a relationship now, but enjoy this time. If that means spending it with a cool guy, go for it. Maybe you can rekindle Senior Week love at the (shudder) five-year reunion.

Ryan responds: I could answer this question with one sentence.

Since I can't do that, I will give you 300 words of BS instead. Then, in the last paragraph, I'll answer your question. I don't exactly know what your question means: "Should I tell him how I feel or just finish my senior year having fun with my friends?" Are you saying that telling him how you feel would prevent you in some way from enjoying yourself these last few weeks or does the thought of taking a chance on a guy conflict with indulging in your waning days of college? I don't exactly know why you can't have both, but think you can.

Whether it is important to tell this guy how you feel depends on a few variables. How long you have known this guy, how long you have liked him, how likely it is for anything substantial to end up happening between you are all questions that should factor into your decision. You can spend days talking to your girlfriends about whether you should tell him how you feel, you can spend your early morning hours thinking about him being in your bed, and you can even stalk him relentlessly on Facebook, wondering if one day you'll be the girl in the "relationship status" section of his page.

You can waste your time doing those things, but you find the same answer in the end: You are 22 years old. This is not middle school anymore. If you want something and it's important to you, go after it. The truth is that he probably doesn't feel the same way about you, but if you don't tell him how you feel, especially if you feel strongly about him, you will regret it.

"I got in a fight with my friend over spring break over some stupid thing - a guy on that neither of us really cared about. But ever since then, it's been really awkward. We were great friends for all of college before this falling out, and I haven't talked to her since, but I really miss her. I don't want to graduate on these terrible terms. What should I do?" -Maybe I Said Something Hurtful, Even Regrettable

Ryan says: That sounds like a pretty meaningful friendship: One fight over a guy that neither of you cared about, and your friendship is over. It's good to know that you guys can make it through the tough times.

Normally, I wouldn't advise this, but you must hold onto this grudge. Don't just stop at graduation either. Hold onto this grudge for the rest of your natural life. Also, I wouldn't just remind her of what happened on that spring break every time you see her at a reunion, but I would take it a step further. I would consistently send her letters and pictures so that, if by chance, she ever forgot about that one weary night in Cabo, she would be immediately reminded by one of your timely letters.

Because let's be honest, four years of a personal, fruitful friendship means nothing if you make mistake. That should be your friendship policy: No mistakes allowed. Just make sure you warn future friends of this policy. So, if they happen to spill something on your dress or look at you the wrong way, they won't be surprised when you never talk to them again.

The good news for you is if you keep holding grudges with your friends over insignificant arguments, eventually you won't have anymore grudges - mainly because you won't have any more friends. In a sense, you're on your way to solving that problem. Although I am convinced a monkey could answer your question, here's what I think you should do, anyway. You find your friend. Tell her that you're sorry; she'll probably say sorry, too. You'll cry and hug and be best friends for life again. After you've done all that, please do me a favor and never write into this column again with a question as ridiculously obvious as that one. Thanks.