Alright, pop quiz time - You are walking in the Dustbowl and a few feet in front of you is a girl you recognize from class. You talk to her occasionally about assignments and stuff, but otherwise have never acknowledged her existence outside of class. Do you (A) smile and say hello as you pass each other or (B) pretend you don't know her and walk right on by. If you chose option B, you, like so many other students here, are guilty of committing the "BC look-away."
This term was coined two years ago at a 48 Hours retreat by perplexed students trying to cope with the fact that they were being slighted all across campus. The phrase describes the act of walking straight past a person you sort of know (and you know you know,) someone from class or that you met at a party one hazy night, or always see because they are in the periphery of your social circle. Instead of greeting this person, you suddenly find something fascinating in the distance that requires you to crane your neck at a 90 degree angle away. Even with a weekend that starts on Wednesday night, it seems we lack the simplest of social graces when it comes to socializing in everyday situations. Is a simple head nod of acknowledgement so strenuous that people avoid it like the plague? At first I simply refused to believe that people were doing this purposefully and attributed this anti-social tendency to a few factors.
First off, with the growing popularity of iPods, I've noticed that a lot of people walk around campus fully engrossed in their music. I'm sure you've been in an elevator with a kid blasting techno out of his headphones so loud that you can feel the bass pumping and the enclosed space converts into a mini-club. Of course these people won't notice you when they are so completely in their own world, and let that world obnoxiously seep into the public domain.
Secondly, as a result of our weekends starting so early in the week, maybe students are just tired from the night before and too out of it to notice those that happen to be passing by.
While either of these theories could be true, they seemed overly optimistic. Just the other weekend my roommate Cara told me that a girl she had been introduced to by mutual friends and constantly sees completely ignored her when she said "hi."
"When you go out of your way to say 'hi' to someone you know and they don't reciprocate, you feel like a huge loser," says Cara. Giving her the benefit of the doubt, maybe she didn't hear or was in a bad mood. The next time they were in the same situation Cara greeted her once again.
"She frowned and made a face! Now I think she doesn't like me and that she's a mean person" says Cara.
I guess in this situation, its two strikes and you're out. It is hard to understand why it's such a big production to extend oneself and be friendly to acquaintances when it seems like the nice thing to do.
My friend Denny brought up the point, "What if you forget the person's name and they remembered yours? It can be a very awkward situation." This can be an uncomfortable exchange, especially when the person starts walking in the same direction as you, thereby forcing you to make strained conversation ("So, how about that snow?"). After only a few seconds the banter will be over and the person will not think any less of you. In fact, they can only think of you as someone who took the time to see how they were doing.
In a world where networking is so important and it is not what you know but who you know that matters, why not start now? You never know who the next big executive or producer will be, and you may have that contact because you fostered a relationship with someone that began with saying "hi."
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