For some reason, communication majors get no respect around this campus. As a fellow commie (no relation to our friends who are obsessed with Karl Marx and the color red), I can't say it doesn't make me madder than Kanye West at an awards show when someone tells me my major is easy and useless. So I have to ask folks, where is all of this hostility coming from?
Maybe it's because there are so many of us, and our strength in numbers intimidates even the roughest gangs of angry Brighton residents. Maybe our knowledge of the themes present in Disney movies scares you or makes you question the future of this country. Maybe you're just a hater who wishes that you too could watch Pretty Woman for homework or write your senior thesis on the images of women portrayed in America's Next Top Model.
Whatever the case may be, I propose that communication majors everywhere band together to put our skills to good use and improve our status in the majors hierarchy. It may take some extra effort, but everyone already thinks we don't do any work, so let's prove them wrong by gaining a little bit of well-deserved attention. Stuck on what to do? Here are some suggestions:
(1) Vent your frustrations by making a YouTube video a la Chris Crocker instructing everyone to "Leave communication majors alone!"
(2) Secure an internship at Sony BMG, find Natasha Bedingfield, and stick a piece of tape over her mouth. Look, I know that some people think that every time you play "Unwritten" a puppy gets adopted or a cloud finds its rainbow, but the madness has to stop. It has been three long years and I still am not convinced that I should "feel the rain on my skin" or infuse my hair with Pantene Pro-V. If "the rest is still unwritten," let's do what we can to wrap this book up already. Thanks.
(3) Find out if, now that the writers have finished striking, the employees of Beans, Creams, and Dreams will follow suit.
(4) Reinvent University President Rev. William P. Leahy, S.J.'s image by launching an official public relations campaign on his behalf. Introduce everyone to "Lethal Leahy." Plaster the made-over president's face on so many things that students actually get to see what he looks like before graduation.
(5) Steal all of the honey mustard and barbecue sauce from Corcoran Commons. Then start a business even Che Chi would envy by selling it on the black market to desperate late-nighters. Consider transferring into the Carroll School of Management, and then laugh at your temporary lapse in judgment.
(6) Organize a debate between Tom from MySpace and Mark Zuckerberg regarding who has more fake Internet friends. Declare everyone who attends the loser.
(7) Write a farewell address for President Bush that uses the word "nuclear" 96 times (once for every month he will have been in office). In times of war and uncertainty, it's important to sit back, have a good laugh, and remember that if a person who refuses to acknowledge the presence of the letter "e" 96 times can become president, you really can do anything you set your mind to.
(8) Become a dominant presence in all student activities. With over one thousand majors, we can easily infiltrate and dominate The Heights, UGBC, every athletic team, class rankings, dance floors, beer pong tables, Guitar Hero tournaments, and anything else people put on their resumes these days.
Oh wait, that's right - we already have.
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