Horoscopes

Aquarius (Jan. 21 - Feb. 18): Ever try to make a snow devil? Try one on Bapst lawn to stir things up.

Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 19): Cool Ranch isn't as cool as you think. However, Cooler Ranch is a different story. Maybe you should come up with Coolest Ranch.

Aries (March 20 - April 19): Stop using the exclamation point immediately. Your pretension is just annoying everyone.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20): If you ever buy a hamster, don't put it in one of those little clear plastic balls. You'll just create a psycho rodent.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20): Gold Toe socks are back in style. They're even more practical than Uggs. And a lot more attractive.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22): How many games can you play with a snow shovel? You might be surprised.

Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22): Play "Light As a Feather, Stiff As a Board" at your next on-campus party. You never know what miracles will happen.

Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22): Some amazing things can happen when you mix skim milk with 2 percent.

Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct 22): From now on, your school of truth should come from The Nanny reruns.

Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21): Next time you order pizza, ask the delivery person to come in for a few minutes. It's the best way to make new friends. And with new friends come new benefits.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21): Eat garlic on Thursday. Or on Friday for that matter. Trust me, the girls will love it.

Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 20): Stop living your life based on the idealology of Law and Order. You are just not that quick, but that's okay.

Katie Thomas is a Heights senior staff columnist. Horoscopes appears every Monday in this space.