World Record

"You're letting her go to Sin City? That's a wicked, sinful place."

We were sitting in an Italian restaurant last summer when I told my grandparents that I would be spending my semester abroad in Amsterdam. My grandmother - who had once told me I shouldn't go to Harvard because I would end up a communist - was horrified. My dad shrugged his shoulders, while my response that the moniker "Sin City" actually refers to Las Vegas went ignored.

My grandmother is not alone in her opinion that my adopted home city is the capital of moral depravity. Camus famously wrote that Amsterdam's concentric canals resemble the circles of hell.

I have noticed the shift in people's facial expressions when I tell them where I will be studying abroad. There is a particular look in their eyes as they step back and say to themselves, "I never would have pegged that girl for a drug addict."

For a while I took to telling people I was studying abroad at the University of Amsterdam because in my mind, attaching the name of an institution of higher education made my choice of location seem more legitimate. But whatever legitimacy I may have earned - whether it was real or imagined - went out the window when I informed people that no, soft drugs are actually not legal in Amsterdam, but rather they are tolerated in small quantities. I have learned that this only makes me look even more suspicious. I have also learned that just because someone makes a quip to you about legalized prostitution does not mean that they will understand your comeback or find it funny.

In spite of everyone from family friends to the woman at the hair salon taking the liberty of informing my parents that I will return a stoner, my parents have remained supportive. Although initially confused - "Wouldn't you rather go to France?" was my mom's first response - my parents have embraced my decision. After all, Amsterdam is just as famous for its museums, including the Van Gogh and the Rembrandt House, and its canals as it is for its coffee shops and its infamous Red Light District.

My dad has become particularly enthusiastic about the "Venice of the North"; at this point, I think he may know more about the city than I do. The other day he informed me that after a fire destroyed three-quarters of the city in the 15th century, a decree was issued ordering all houses to be made of stone.

While my dad is busy planning the itinerary for his and my mother's visit in May, I have taken the liberty of appointing myself head of the Amsterdam Image Restoration Committee. I have made it my mission to prove to anyone who will listen that there is more to my host city than sex, drugs, and rock and roll. If people hear the name Amsterdam and do not immediately think of a certain plant, then my efforts have not been in vain; if one less person thinks I am of loose morals, then that is just an added bonus. To accomplish this goal, I have at my disposal an impressive array of facts that I have acquired through perusing my numerous guidebooks and that paragon of credible evidence, Wikipedia.

My inquiry into all things Amsterdam began almost immediately after I decided to apply to the University of Amsterdam (UvA). Embarrassing as it is to admit, the first item on my agenda was to figure out the proper name of the country to which I was going. Holland is not actually a country but rather makes up two provinces, North and South Holland, of the country known as the Netherlands.

While throughout the rest of the world people use Holland and the Netherlands interchangeably, the Dutch apparently do not appreciate this, so I have quit using the term Holland altogether. People may not always cite their sources on Wikipedia, but I would rather err on the side of caution than risk looking like the ugly American.

A far more reliable source of information is the modern history class I took sophomore year during which we spent several lectures covering the Dutch Golden Age of the 17th century. It was during this period that Amsterdam began to develop its reputation as a tolerant and progressive city. While not completely tolerant by today's standards - Catholics could not worship publicly, for example, Amsterdam nevertheless provided dissidents and refugees with a safe haven.

The Dutch also have a reputation for being good at foreign languages. Despite being told that it is useless to learn Dutch because everyone speaks English, my experiences in France have taught me that people are more inclined to be nice to you if you at least attempt to speak their language. Consequently, upon my acceptance to UvA, I went out and purchased Dutch audio CDs in order to learn the notoriously difficult language that I will probably never use again.

Based on my limited dealings with Amsterdammers, the Dutch's reputation for efficiency and punctuality is deserved. Out of all the things that I have heard about Amsterdam, it is this that has me the most concerned. I am becomingly increasingly less certain that I, a lifelong procrastinator, will be able to survive in such an environment. (How's the packing going? It's not, but thanks for asking.) If only I knew how to say "culture shock" in Dutch.