It's a strange feeling, being stuck in limbo. Boston College started classes last week, but I leave for London Sept. 12 to study abroad for the semester. To fill the gap in between, I decided to make a quick visit to BC before I ducked off to London. Yet back at the Heights, I drifted along in some sort of academic purgatory.
With the ending of summer vacation and summer internships, I looked forward to visiting move-in weekend. When I stepped back onto campus, I technically was not a part of the BC community. For the weekend, I stayed with various friends around campus, graciously accepting any couch as a bed. I lived out of the same pack I plan to use touring across Europe. I watched a meager amount of Eagle Bucks dwindle as I savored the little bit of BC Dining I will have until January. For the first time since being dropped off freshman year, I was a stranger in a strange land. Everything felt familiar around campus, especially with the spires now once again adorning Gasson Tower, but nothing felt like home. My study abroad, and furthermore, my time as a transient being began not in London, but at my home university.
I am not sure exactly what I expected in visiting BC. Perhaps I thought it would be like the good times, hanging out with old friends or enjoying an engaging lecture from a favorite professor. I knew that my visit would be a short one, and that ultimately I would return back to California to prepare for my time in London, but I never imagined feeling as detached from the community as I did. Personally, I do not consider it such a bad thing.
When it comes down to it, my mind was not set on being back as BC. The weekend in a way conditioned me for my time abroad. Sleeping on whatever couch came my way is good practice for hostel living. I will have to watch my funds for food and whatever other commodities I purchase with the pound or Euro (or any currency I will have to exchange with the almighty dollar). And I have an inkling that the pack I lived out of over move-in weekend will feel like less than just a pack and more like a home as my time abroad comes to an end.
The anticipation for going abroad began when I first received the acceptance to Queen Mary, University of London, last April. Somehow, seeing acceptance in writing made the experience very real. The whole uncertainty of the process, whether I would get in to my program of choice, which semester do I take off (I almost scrapped studying abroad first semester for our football team), disappeared when the study abroad office informed me of my acceptance.
Throughout the summer, both BC and QM have sent me countless updates preparing me for what abroad will be like. Back in April, the updates, while appreciated, seemed to count for something so distant. But now, with my departure date less than a week away, I find myself scouring over every last little bit of information in those documents. I do not want to be one of those unfortunate souls who arrive at their intended abroad location only to find that they failed to check a box on some customs form, resulting in deportation. Still, I'm not sure any amount of updates can prepare anyone for culture shock. Coming from southern California, the whole New England culture with popped collars and salmon-colored pants freaked me out at first. Granted, "hopping across the pond" means I will have a common language, but even then I am sure any familiarities between our cultures will be few and far between. Unlike the quick visit to BC, I am expecting London and the rest of my time abroad to be the unfamiliar. I am expecting to live in that constant state of transience. I just never expected BC to be the source of it all.
Larry Pickner, the Office of International Placement's United Kingdom study abroad advisor, sent out a checklist to all of those students studying somewhere in the U.K. Tacked on the end of his e-mail was the quote: "The whole object of travel is not to set foot on foreign land; it is at last to set foot on one's own country as a foreign land." It leaves me wondering: If my disorientation started before I left the Heights, how will I feel coming back?
Be the first to comment on this article!