Swan Song: Jessica Isner

The NOW

Q - From "Duke I Am Your Father" to Big Tyme to Scal Tyme to the Clemson catch at 231 Foster to the Virginia Tech heartbreakers to Celtics vs. Raptors to Champs Sports to effing StubHub to WE'RE STILL HERE to "I just saw MH and he's with a really hot girl - sorry!" to Holy War Winner Takes All to Deforestation to Rese on the Rim - point is, you've been there for all of my favorite BC sports memories. Let's get Shea tailgating passes NOW.

Dave - Fly that Confederate flag with pride, and before you try to say you're not, just think back on your BJ Upton curveball rule. Also, if you try to float cake in New Hampshire this year, I'll be mad, so don't. And if LV comes back to BC on the red-eye, or if you get any more info about the train, or if there are any more YO CLAIBORNE moments, I get to be the first to know. Oh, and somebody should probably still call M.M.

Ira - We fight like cats and dogs? No. We fight like Youkilis and Manny. When I hit you in the dugout, I don't mean it because you're still my teammate. But I'm still the more valuable hitter - just remember that. And don't forget to keep an eye on Captain D-Bag and his "ugly &%^" g-f.

Fouhy - You said it perfectly: Serendipity. Regardless of anything you say, I owe you more than you could ever imagine, and before this gets too vom-inducing, let me just say I'm honored to be your friend. "You know that, like, turbulence is normal, right? ... Do you want me to get you some Xanax?" For being the person who had to deal with my panic attacks on plane rides - thanks, Jerry. Someday I really will draw enough pictures to fill up the equivalent of your entire wall.

((fenway four))

Mooney - "Become enraged. GET PISSED. Get off my BJ Raji - if I wanted you there, I'd tell you." I'll miss it - until next year when I live next door to you. Then I can come over and play Blackjack and maybe pay you the $4.50 I still owe you. Also, remember to wear mittens every time some beastly Michigan fan is tempted to fight you.

Daughters - Every time I get sad about leaving the Heights, I just remember that my lovely Jacuteys will doubtlessly continue the family legacy of awesomeness. Brynne, don't forget to invite me to the wedding (and, in the meantime, keep up the confused 3:30 am phone calls) and you should probably invite some BC wideouts, too, so we can ID them. Joelle, beware next year when me and the patriarch aren't there to protect you from T.C. and J.M. - and also, make sure that this year, you drive to New Hampshire with people who don't spew into oncoming traffic. P.S. - Countdown to Nashville starts now.

Zach - Be careful what you say in McElroy - Montel Harris might hear you. Keep your ears out for the good quotes from DD over the next few years - I want to be the first person to know about a repeat offense of "needling some threads". Also, be nice to my daughters, and protect them from Mod predators. Oh, and just for the record, the MM/MH tandem would hurt. A lot.

Pilar - Someday soon, we're going back to the Chicken Biscuit and we're going to find the Yahoo! basketball guy and we're going to storm the field at FSU and refuse to leave even when security tries to kick us off. Also, we should probably go back to New Hampshire soon and retrieve the B.B.D. - there's no way anyone could appreciate that quite like us.

MKP - I meant everything I said on Saturday. You know that any time you're in Cleveland Circle and you get run over by a Trail Blazer, I'll totally have your back. For real. By the way, the Blue Jays still suck and Trot Nixon is still a god.

Irish - Post-BC, when I'm at work and it's late at night and I'm FUMING, can I give you a call so we can go for a walk? And I still need to borrow The Old Man and the Sea.

Ian - The only person bold enough to kick Tyrese off his own court. Just for the record, we're undefeated on the road. They should hire us full-time.

Wallace - If you ever want to see Juicy again, you will place $20 in the General Manager's mailbox. Also, still the best quote of the year: "Wait … guys … is that Chris Lane?"

Grant - What would I do without you to tell me when my hair looks terrible or when my outfit sucks? You're a pal.

Courtney - I know you're going to facilitate a lot of debauchery when you're abroad, so good luck. I'll keep my eye on your future husband Matty Ice, plus Matt Cassel/Toy Story Woody while you're gone.

Alexi - You better carry on the tradition of my Electrocution Face next year, and also, when you write your sports column about the DL Down-Low, send it to me.

Tula - No more counting Sunday's - and it actually makes me sad.

Tue - These things will chaaaaange, can you feel it nooowww? These walls that they puuut up to hold us back will fall dowwnnnn… And we'll sing hallelujahhhhhh, we'll sing hallelujaaaahhh…uhhh.

Chris - Snapping your car key in New Hampshire while trying to open the cigars: still one of the top five funniest moments of my life.

Meghan - I respect your opinion as much as anybody on this board because when you decide to say something, it really matters. You are going to have so much success if you stay just the way you are.

Keith - I forgive you for playing really loud techno (Daft Punk? What's the difference?) at the computer next to me for an entire year because I understand that I could never fathom the difficulties of life as a Mets fan. You need to release your anger somehow, right? Also, beware of those razorblades.

OB - No one can argue with me about Descartes like you can. Also, try to keep those Obamaphiles in check for the next few years.

Trish - I just dropped my last story in Hamster … just kidding. I know you won't be sick of us harassing you all the time but you were always a good sport, so thanks.