Patriot, Observer compete for power in sack race

Newspapers exist as a canvas for everyone's favorite constitutional right: freedom of speech. Here at Boston College, we welcome all ideas and opinions, and consequently, we cherish the expression of these convictions in our various student newspapers. It is widely accepted across the Heights that The Observer and The Patriot are BC's most prized student publications. These are two newspapers that give us the gritty, hard truth about the world we live in - of which the BC community can be genuinely proud. Many look at these publications as an oasis of wisdom within an otherwise barren climate of deceit and pretension here on campus.

As grateful as we are for these two "grandfathers" of our BC family, however, there has been a growing tension between these two beacons of knowledge (though you wouldn't know it from their weekly editorials). For as much as we would love to have both publications reside side by side here in our community, it is simply too good to be true. Inevitably, one must die.

This Saturday afternoon, a sensible attempt will be made to settle this unfortunate rivalry. There will be a sack race. No, not that kind of sack, ladies and gentlemen. We're talking about full-blown, itchy, dirty potato sacks butting heads in a fight to the death. This monumental event, sponsored enthusiastically by the Undergraduate Government of Boston College, will decide once and for all who the journalistic comrade of truth will be here at BC.

In preparation for this weekend's competition, the staffs of The Patriot and The Observer have been enumerating their own strengths and weaknesses and analyzing those of the other squad. "A sack race really can't be taken lightly," says Don Finnelman, A&S '09, of The Observer. "For those of us who make newspapers instead of playing actual sports or engaging in regular physical activity, a good old fashioned, rowdy sack race is the quickest way to get the adrenaline rushing and the testosterone pumping … not to mention I just love wars."

The Patriot seems to be adopting a similar perspective of optimism on the event. Jeremy Tomlinson, CSOM '08, perhaps the most skilled and experienced sacker on The Patriot's squad, told us that "in a day in age of drag-racing, The Fast and The Furious, and monster trucking, it's fabulous that we're able to utilize the environmental-friendly potato sack as our means of competition." Tomlinson also admits that, in order to keep the ozone fresh, he may even keep his sack after the showdown as his "go-to" mode of transportation.

Strenuous preparation and pre-game banter won't mean diddlysquat once the coin is tossed and the sacks are off. Both teams, each in their appropriately colored sack (Patriot in blue, Observer in red), will compete in three rounds of cut-throat, 10-person relays in which stamina, brawn, and wit will be tested. Only the meanest sacker will survive, as they say.

"In the end though," said Beverly Crassman, the UGBC coordinator and CSON '07, "it's not about who's in a red sack and who's in a blue sack. The important thing is that ultimately, truth will win out. I'm just thrilled to be a part of such an amazing event. And the fact that it's a sack race … whoa, I'm pumped!"