Student steals Newton bus for joy ride

Friday night, in a moment of frustration, Mike McLouth, A&S '10, took the liberty of driving the Newton Bus from the Lower bus stop to Newton Campus while the bus driver was on his break.

At approximately 1:35 a.m., McLouth reportedly stumbled onto the Newton bus. After realizing that the driver was not behind the wheel, McLouth made eye contact with all 23 passengers, one by one, and announced, "We're in this together." He then took a seat in the back by himself. Fifteen minutes passed. McLouth stood up and slowly walked to the front of the bus.

Bewildered passengers claim McLouth sat behind the wheel, looked behind his shoulder, and said, "I'm not a bus driver, but don't worry: I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night." After further investigation, the Boston College Police Department confirmed that McLouth did not spend the previous night at a Holiday Inn Express, which, if he had, would have given him legal authority to not only drive a bus, but also operate a space shuttle, punch a Congressman in the face, and steal a baby's candy.

McLouth proceeded to start the engine, put the bus into drive, and slowly press down on the accelerator. A few students heard him say under his breath, "The die is cast," at which point he slammed on the pedal.

When asked by one passenger why he was driving the bus, McLouth responded, "When in Rome."

"At first, I was like, 'What the hell? He's going to kill us,'" says Megan Schiller, A&S '10. "But then I realized, 'There's no way I'm going to get in trouble for this.' So I started encouraging him. Why not?"

Students quickly followed Schiller's lead. The bus quickly turned into what some witnesses described as a "riot on wheels," as passengers shouted words of encouragement and endearment.

According to other witnesses, McLouth began playing party favorites on the bus' audio system, making the ride even more enjoyable.

Around 2 a.m., the bus rolled into Newton Campus. Upon disembarking from the bus, McLouth was greeted by a barrage of BCPD officers while slurring off, "You see me winding and grinding up on that pole."

McLouth was placed into custody and transported to the Newton Police Department for safe keeping.

"This matter will not be taken lightly," commented one officer on the scene, "no matter how hilarious it may seem."