Confessions Of A 'GQ' Failure
Published: Thursday, March 24, 2011
Updated: Wednesday, January 9, 2013 19:01
The word to describe my fashion sense would be plain, and I can live with that. Since the age of 2-years old, my mother outfitted me in khakis, jeans, and button downs or polo shirts. Now that I dress myself, I wear khakis, jeans, and button downs or polo shirts. My favorite stores are GAP, American Eagle, and JC Penney men's department. I find stores like Vineyard Vines, J. Crew, and Burberry too flashy. Actually, I suppose they're classic, but I feel like I would be rather conspicuous wearing scarves and pinstripe pants.
I recently came into possession of a shep shirt from Vineyard Vines. My peers couldn't be more excited about the arrival of these navy blue wonders (a label I question no matter how many times I'm told). When I saw them, though, I instantly thought, "No." I didn't even think it in a catty way. I thought, "Oh, no. I cannot pull this off. I don't yacht. Do the folks at Vineyard Vines yacht? I think they do. What do you wear a navy blue shep shirt with? In the catalogue, it's a bunch of young bucks and lovely lasses smiling on a porch or in their lawn or by the beach or near their pool. I don't live near either of those. Am I attractive enough for Vineyard Vines attire? Wait, why is that guy wearing nearly six Easter-colored polos?" Such are my thoughts.
The day came when I finally decided to suck it up and wear the shep shirt. I donned the bulky blue sweater (or shirt? I still don't know). I put it on over a white undershirt and looked at myself in the mirror. It looked off. No one in the catalogue wore it like this. I'd been conditioned to believe something was missing. I dug through my closet to find a light blue button down. I put it on, and it looked better, but I still knew my whole outfit, ensemble if you will, was off. I put on jeans and my pair of cheap boat shoes. I looked blue and not as any sort of indication of melancholia. I changed into a pair of khaki pants. I looked at myself in the mirror. I stood in my shep shirt over my light blue button down with my khaki pants and boat shoes. Let's be honest. I looked good. I also looked like I was about to meet my girlfriend, Muffy, at her country club to meet her parents and play a round of golf with Pops and Mum.
I wore the outfit and felt conspicuous, just as I thought I would. That style, the style that many people consider so very "BC," is simply not my own. I'd love to believe I could pull off GQ style and wear the undeniably sharp outfits scattered through the magazine. You've got modern day fashion icons like Justin Timberlake and The Situation (ok, maybe not The Situation) gracing the pages and making a statement on behalf of the successful young gentleman. Despite the obvious cool factor, I worry about the bright colors. Why would I wear purple or yellow or orange? I pretty much only wear black, gray, blue, and green. The patterns are also a bit much. The guy is wearing a checkered shirt with a striped vest and a tie with small circles on them. That's rather extreme, no? Also, what man wears a fedora without being ironic? I don't believe I've ever gone out to a restaurant and seen a man simply eating his beef stroganoff with a fedora atop his crown.
I agree with the adage "Fashion is art." To put it bluntly, though, I am by no means a solid canvas. I am, for the most part, ordinary. I like my Gap jeans and my muted button downs. They're cool, but they don't take themselves seriously (much like myself; my fashion obviously defines me.). My style expresses that, and I couldn't be happier in my admittedly plain attire. (I may still wear the shep shirt sometimes, though. It ‘s comfortable.)