Column: Enjoy The Moments
Published: Sunday, September 29, 2013
Updated: Sunday, September 29, 2013 19:09
The thought of having a serious conversation makes me want to don my BC Snuggie and nap until it’s all over. Lately, though, I’ve been wanting to give some advice. The problem, however, is that I haven’t exactly known what to say.
The thing is, sometimes I’ll see students and I’ll be really sad. So many people feel like they have to put on that whole BC air: smart, athletic, popular, good-looking, and involved. It’s like people tell themselves if they pull on a pair of salmon shorts, somehow everyone will think their life is okay. And then people go comparing themselves to everyone else, wondering why they haven’t figured out their life yet. But she’s that freshman who gets way too drunk at every party, and only winds up feeling more alone than she did before. And he’s afraid that his friends will judge him if they find out he’s gay. We’re all hurting and that’s okay.
It’s just something that always kind of bummed me out, because I think everyone would be happier if they stopped feeling the pressure to be perfect. This might sound a little mean, but I swear I don’t want you to feel bad: you’re never going to be perfect. You do deserve to be happy, though. And I think you can be.
See, I was there standing in the crowd at the FSU game. We had just scored our second touchdown and everyone went wild. We just seemed to be part of one body, moving and jumping and screaming and hugging everyone. And for just those couple of seconds, everyone was just happy—nothing more. It didn’t matter so much that everyone was hurting in their own way, too. For those seconds, things were good. We were happy.
The thing, though, is that those little moments of happiness fade. They’re only moments, after all. When they’re over, the world and all its problems are there like always. After the moments are gone, you’re left with yourself, and nothing is scarier than that.
But I don’t think it has to be that way. All you have to do is keep reaching for those moments and maybe one day you won’t have to be scared of being alone with yourself in the first place. I don’t know for sure, but I want to say that the little moments of joy build up bit by bit, and after a while, there’ll be enough of them so that you won’t have to return to a world that’s cold and sad and full of problems when the moments are over. Those moments of joy will be your world.
So I guess my advice for all of us lost BC kids is to find those moments where we’re just happy and nothing more everyday. And I don’t think any of us are going to find our moments by comparing ourselves with how the rest of the world presents itself to us. That’d be too easy.
I guess, in a way, I’m not being very helpful, then. I haven’t actually told you where those moments are found, but I think you already know. I mean, I can tell you some of my moments of happiness that I can always fall back on: that one time when me and my roommates sang “We Are One Body” at 10:15 mass and I felt lucky, the time we all sat together on the banks of the Thames and the only thing I could do was smile with love, that time she said yes on Dec. 15, 2012 on that bench in the Common, or maybe those times when the only things that mattered in the world were my mom and my brother and some chocolate-chip ice cream. I won’t go on, but you get the point. Your happy, and not just your little bursts of happiness, your this-is-the-thing-that’s-gonna-save-me-one-day happiness is right there and it grows every day. All you need to do is see it.
So, in the end, all I have to say is be happy. You deserve it.