Dangling the Bait
Published: Thursday, October 24, 2013
Updated: Thursday, October 24, 2013 00:10
Need to spice up your personal life? Tired of the weekly, awkward Mod hookup?
Ever feel like you’re strutting your stuff, putting it all out there every Friday and Saturday night, to no avail?
Are you tired of people not realizing just how much you’re worth?
Ladies, it’s time to dangle the bait.
Carrot, the newest online dating app created by infamous MIT alum Brandon Wade, allows you to do just that. Wade coined the term “carrot dating:” a term that, to be honest, continues to baffle me—so I’ll let his own words explain.
According to the website, www.carrotdating.com, “Carrot Dating is the world’s first mobile app where singles can use bribery to get first dates. This unique approach teaches singles to always bring something to the table. Whether it is a special gift or a unique activity, the Carrot Dating app gives you the power to prove your worth and date the man or woman of your dreams.”
Welcome to yet another case of technology gone too far.
Here’s the backstory:
Brandon Wade is an MIT grad, self-proclaimed geek, and unlucky in love. Well, he used to be, that is, until he gained the necessary “success and resources to be generous” to turn the dating game in his favor. Wade “found love” soon after he began working for a Fortune 500 company. He subsequently quit that job in an effort to create ways for men like him to find women.
Aka, Wade became a premature sugar daddy and wrote a code for other nerds to do the same.
Wade is founder of SeekingArrangement.com, the leading sugar daddy dating website; SeekingMillionaire.com, a millionaire matchmaking website; WhatsYourPrice.com, where singles bid for first dates; and MissTravel.com, the first travel dating website.
And now, to the detriment of pretty much everyone, he’s founded Carrot.
The main advertisement features Wade in an MIT t-shirt dangling three large carrots (the kind one feeds to horses) in front of three suggestively dressed, overly-made-up young women. (Stripper heels included.)
Here’s how it works:
In order to begin a conversation with another member of Carrot, the user must first submit a bribe to their prospect. Bribes are separated into five categories: Dining, Entertainment, Gifts, Activities, and Popular. Once the proposed bribe is accepted, both members are transferred to a “conversation” page where they can schedule a first date.
Scariest of all? The application already has 30,000 users after launching just last month.
“Any beautiful girl can be convinced to give you a chance, all she needs is a little incentive,” said Wade in a phone interview with Boston Magazine. The idea that women are such simple-minded creatures who can be bribed into falling in love a la bright, shiny objects proves that Wade has not a single drop of knowledge about the female species. Although he admits dating is “superficial anyways,” Wade really thinks this works.
Let me repeat that: he really thinks this works.
I’m not an expert on many things in life besides coffee and J.Crew—but I do know this: love comes to those who stop looking.
That statement inherently denounces all forms of online dating, because signing up for systematic, computerized matchmaking implies one is looking for love in the first place.
And it’s not just the guys at Match and eHarmony to blame—Tinder, Grouper, LuLu—they’re all just as bad as the next.
But Carrot very well may be the worst.
So, instead of playing with virtual vegetables, let’s all look up from our phone screens instead. Interactions IRL (that’s code for “in real life,” for you unplugged folks) still too intimidating?
Stick to the old-fashioned way: a midnight text will do.