How To: Pretend that You are a Resident of the Mods
Published: Sunday, October 14, 2012
Updated: Wednesday, January 9, 2013 18:01
For many of us, living in the Mods was a distant dream that was crushed back in March after the housing lottery debacle. Come October, many of us have gotten over it since, and as any senior will tell you, living in those hillside dorms like Rubenstein, Ignacio, Voute, or Gabelli (sorry, Edmond’s folks) is not so bad after all. But to underclassmen, it seems sacrilege to be a senior without a Mod.
Lucky for your popular appearance, there are some ways to fool the crowd and fake that you live in a Mod. The glory may be all yours if you commit to following a few fun tricks.
Know the layout: The first thing that might distinguish you as a Mod-dweller is if you know where they all are or how to find the one you’re looking for. There does not seem to be much rhyme or reason to the layout of the Mods, but they do follow some sort of a pattern. Starting from the right corner of the houses near the Plex and bordering the Mod lot, they go in vertical rows back toward Walsh. They go odd and even, starting with No. 2 and going up to No. 42, spreading out to the left toward Vanderslice. Fun fact: there is no Mod 1A or 1B.
Know the Strip Mods: I am not sure if every person who lives in the Mods knows which ones are the legendary Strip Mods, but you can bolster your plan of pretending to live there by impressing the unassuming with your knowledge of this Mod tradition. They are Mods 27A and B. Make sure to throw in afterwards how glad you are that your Mod is not the Strip Mod this year.
Know the Mods on game days: Always carry a copy of your license (even if you’re not 21) because you’ll obviously need it to get back into where you “live” past the ID-checkers at the gates. It is important to note that after football games, some of the gates that they close during tailgating hours remain closed into the evening, so you can easily embarrass yourself by trying to enter the Mods through one of these other blocked gates when trying to get to a party Saturday night. You can usually always enter in the gate by Walsh and by the Mod parking lot.
Laundry: Make sure to complain to other people about how you must drag your laundry all the way to Walsh to do it, since the Mods do not have laundry machines in them. You drop your underwear on the way on the sidewalk and “it’s embarrassing.” You drop a clean t-shirt on the way and it gets muddy again and “it’s frustrating.” You’re considering investing in a laundry service—“it’s that annoying.”
Lawn games: Become a master at any lawn activity. Popular Mod lawn games include corn hole, bags, ladder ball, Kan Jam, and Frisbee. If you can be really good at these games, people will think you sometimes spend your free time conveniently playing in your Mod backyard with the music blaring like it’s nothing.
This also includes grilling. You by no means have to be a master at it, but if you can casually make a mean cheeseburger on the spot, you can say it’s because, well, with all these football tailgates at your Mod, you’ve had a lot of practice.
Pick a Pseudo-Mod address: A friend of mine who also does not live in the Mods gave me a handy trick that he devised if he ever wanted to fool someone that he lived there and not in Ignacio. He advised that you should pick a Mod at random and say that you live there—not one that your friends live in or one that houses anyone you know. That way, no distant, mutual friends of yours will be able to call you out on not living with your friends who they know have a Mod. If the person you are speaking with knows someone in your pseudo-Mod, switch the letter you originally said (A to B or B to A), pretend you made a mistake there for a moment and pray that those Mods you said are not blocked.
These are just a few pointers to help you brush up on your lying game. You could even get theatrical with it and have a story on hand about that time you bush jumped in your backyard, and it was either an epic land or a seriously ugly land. (But make sure the pseudo-Mod you picked to be your own is one with bushes in the back, for the sake of being thorough).
Either way, with these few tricks locked down you might just be able to wear that Boston College “Mods” sweatshirt with a little more swagger, and have no fear of being called out for it.