Published: Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Updated: Wednesday, January 9, 2013 18:01
The light ahead- If Hell and Guantanamo Bay had a baby, it would be the week before Spring Break. It is cruel, it's torturous, and it is impossible to get through without getting burned and crapped on from all sides. But, do not lose faith, as the greener pastures (or warmer beaches, we should say) of Spring Break are only two days ahead. Here's to a deserved week of relaxation, lounging, and well...some other stuff that we can't mention.
Orange bun in the oven- The reality TV starlet and her "juiced-up" (her words, not ours) beau are rumored to be expecting a child. We would like to condemn all those haters out there who argue that Snooki is an unfit mother—just because she does gymnastics with no underwear on, passes out in a dogbed, and gets arrested for public drunkenness doesn't mean she will be an unfit mother. TU/TD would like to be the mature ones and extend our congratulations to Snooki, and also to Dr. Drew, who will make millions when that child appears on Celebrity Rehab at the age of 12.
Boss to the rescue- Boston College Dad and famous musician posted a missing notice for Franco Garcia on his Facebook page. With over 2 million fans, word of Franco Garcia will surely spread far and wide. Despite his hectic schedule and worldwide fame, it is awesome that Bruce would take the time out of his day to help out the cause. He truly is "the Boss."
All we do is (hopefully) win- This weekend, BC Hockey has the chance to win the Hockey East Division. Although we know we can't ask for much after the glory that was the Beanpot victory, we hope that BC hockey once again can bring a W back to Chestnut Hill. Good luck, guys!
Kinky Co-ed- An article published yesterday in the Harvard Crimson titled "Students Encourage Open Discussion about Sex" reports on a club at Harvard that has discussions about kinky sex. Members include those with fetishes, those who are dominant, those who are subordinate, and those who are furries (if you don't know what that is, watch Entourage. We really don't want to explain). Thumbs Down because we are in shock. No, not that this group is freaking weird, but that Harvard students actually have sex.
Poor advertising- McDonald's is spending millions on advertisements in China that say their beef is only the finest Grade-A quality. Really McDonald's? You think that the people who are currently at pace to overtake our economy as the largest one in the world will believe that? Because the Chinese are really known for their ignorance.
Food felony- A soccer player at the University of Georgia was arrested for stealing $1.06 worth of hash browns from the cafeteria. She was released on a $1,500 bail. TU/TD would just like to say that we definitely didn't steal chicken fingers from Late Night on Friday and definitely waited in that 1,239,803-person-long line. We have witnesses, we promise.