"I'm a freshman here and there's this one girl who I get along with really well. All her friends tell me she's really crushing on me. But I have no idea what to do. It's not just that I've never had a girlfriend, I've never even kissed a girl. I have no idea where to start. Should I ask her out on a date?"
-Inexperienced yet willing

Lisa says:
Absolutely ask her out on a date, and smile! Girls are very impressed by the classy act of initiating dates, as long as by "date" you mean dinner and a movie, not sitting alone in your room. Make the plans, pick her up, offer to pay, and I guarantee it will be a good night.

If her friends are telling you she's crushing, then believe them. Friends don't just share these things off the cuff; the girl in question specifically told them to drop hints and probably even directed the word choice and voice tone to be used. Girls can be, occasionally, hard to read, but if she flirts and laughs with you, and her friends are explicitly trying to set you two up, then you need to hurry and ask her out. Don't make her wait until after break; she thinks she's sending a clear message, and will take your non-action as a refusal to date her.

Don't worry about a lack of experience - there's nothing that can't be learned. And there's something endearing about dating a guy who hasn't been around the dorm; she'll know that she's your first choice. Don't overanalyze (she'll be doing enough for the both of you): Just remember that you are good friends who have a good time together. You're hanging out … just in a bit more ceremonial context and with the possibility of a kiss at the end.

Find a night when she doesn't have to stress about finals and invite her for a trip to Fenway for some Cold Stone and a movie. Pick a chick flick (aka the movie with Patrick Dempsey), and she'll love you forever.

Ryan says:
Well, this is just adorable. You probably have been practicing for this since puberty, and now all your hard work is about to pay off. So, listen to me and don't screw this up or it's back to training camp.

It's clear that she already likes you, so you've won half the battle. Now, I am presuming that this is a classy girl, and I am basing my advice on that assumption. If she happens to be the kind of person who checks her morality at the door, things become a lot simpler and success is a lot easier to achieve.

Next time you talk to her, ask her out. This doesn't have to be some elaborate North End, red-rose production. Dinner at Applebee's will do just fine. It lets her know you are interested without going over the top. Afterward, you have some options: maybe a nice movie at Circle Cinemas or a romantic walk around the Reservoir. I would lean toward the former because it's about as frigid outside as a BU chick. If you are feeling especially daring, you can invite her back to your room and maybe watch a movie there. I am guessing there is no chance of this happening, so let's assume you go to the movie theater.

Because this isn't sophomore year of high school, I would steer clear of making a move during the movie. After the movie, be a gentleman, walk her back to her dorm, and tell her you had a good time. Then, fight off the nauseated feeling, brush her hair back, and lean in for the kiss. She likes you; she is going to kiss you back. Don't worry, I learned all this from a credible source: the movie Hitch. Don't drop the ball.


"I don't like eating meals with other people. I can't stand big groups, waiting awkwardly after being the first one through the register, and forced dinner conversation. For some reason, people refuse to let me dine in solitude, when all I want to do is bone up on the latest 'Observer' or 'Chronicle,' anything but talking to them. Am I the weird one or are they?"
- Lonely Diner

Ryan says:
Do you not like people? I understand that everyone needs their alone time, but you seem to want to be alone all the time. Does that bother you at all? I mean, it makes me wonder what else you don't like doing, espcially with other people. Do you not like talking to other people? Or maybe you don't like socializing with other people.

When the weekend rolls around, instead of going to hang out with your friends, you can sit in your room and watch reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond, which, for the record, is a great show. It may be a good show, but it doesn't make you any cooler.

To get to the heart of the matter, what I am kind of concerned about is whether or not you prefer being alone all of the time. What's the deal with that? It is kind of strange that you enjoy being alone while eating, but it would be more troublesome if you enjoy being alone all the time. Just an FYI, that is not normal. In fact, it makes you seem like kind of a loser.

If this knack for loneliness permeates into the other facets of your life, it might be something you want to look into changing. Like I said, if you are sitting at home on a Saturday night because you have this fear of socializing or talking to people, then I would see a professional.

By the way, if this is some kind of little rebellious, "emo" phase you are going through, you have to get over it. Stop listening to Dashboard; "emo" is over. It's really cute and all, but one day you are going to wake up and realize you have no friends. That is, of course, if this hasn't already happened.

Lisa says:
I'll be honest, I've had my share of alone meals where I've read The Heights or a magazine. It's relaxing, so I can understand where you're coming from. But the meals with roommates and friends have almost always been better - silly you, thinking that dinner is about eating rather than socializing.

If you don't like the big group (completely OK - I understand where you're coming from there, too) go in pairs or threesomes. You can all pass through the register in succession, then grab a table and talk about something interesting.
People may invite you to join them because they feel sorry for you and want to include you - they love group dinners, so why wouldn't you? Or they may want you there because they like hanging out with you. The comment you do manage to get out is always hilarious, and with the busyness of the school day, dinner time is a rare chance to connect with friends.

Try to redefine your view of "group meals" by planning lunch dates (admittedly, this sounds like more acceptable advice for females than males, but I promise, lunch dates are fun). When you and a friend control the conversation, you'll learn to love the hamburger and camaraderie combination.

Compromise half the time? Eat lunches alone and dinners together? Agree to go when the company in question is limited to five people? Life is give and take; you can't always have your way. And maybe if you put up with enough inane group conversations or awkward frantically-scan-the-cafeteria gazes, you'll find that lounging with a few good friends makes it worth it. Or at least your friends will stop thinking you're weird.

Lisa Cook is a senior staff columnist for The Heights. She welcomes comments at cooklb@bcheights.com.

Ryan Lopez is a staff columnist for The Heights. He welcomes comments at lopezr@bcheights.com.