We have all spent afternoons at a time thinking about what sports different Disney characters would be best at. Because I know this is such a common train of thought, I decided to write what I feel about the matter and hopefully you can see if you agree or not.
Tarzan: gymnastics. He would be a natural on the uneven bars and he has the agility to put together a solid floor performance. He would just have to refine some of his raw talent and possibly shed the loin cloth for whatever it is male gymnasts wear.
Mulan: fencing. She obviously has the experience and skill with swords. Also, as a bonus, she could become a champ in women's and men's fencing. After she wins the women's crown, she can dress up like a man, which she has had success with before, and then win the men's title. She could become a champion for androgynous people everywhere.
Ariel: swimming. She would more than likely have to only swim butterfly because she doesn't have two legs but her fin is basically in the same style as the butterfly kick. Also, I'm not sure what type of suit she would wear. Her sea shell one-piece might create some drag. Any way about it, she would dominate.
Pocahontas: diving. She could really do some damage in this category. We all know she's mastered the swan dive in perfect form. She would have to show some more range, and it might be hard work. But considering that she had to see the slaughter of her native people and was captured by Englishmen, I feel that she could persevere enough to master a back flip.
The Beast: football. I think he would be very versatile. He could play fullback, linebacker, or possibly defensive end. There's no doubt that he would be intimidating at any of those positions. The only problem is his obvious weakness for beautiful women. And, seeing that NFL players are surrounded by beautiful women all the time, it is possible that he would lose focus.
Aladin: car racing. He has obvious talent dealing with fast vehicles, (i.e., his magic carpet). I think that NASCAR would be too plain for him. He would probably excel at a more complicated racing circuit such as Formula One. The only issue here would be the random drug tests that Formula One administers to its racers. Because anyone who rides a multi-colored, flying carpet definitely is on acid.
Peter Pan: figure skating. Peter Pan would really fit into the figure skating world. He has the delicate nature and tights to match. He is graceful in his movements and obviously is shameless in what others think of him; he's, like, 45 but still hangs out with young boys.
So there they are. Maybe some of them were similar to the ones all of you think about in your spare time. And if you're not spending enough time thinking about Disney characters, you need to readjust your priorities.
2008 Woodie Awards
