Column: Students Must Act As Allies

If you haven't read the article this week titled "Students subject to homophobia," I encourage you to do so. Bringing up the always-relevant topic of homophobia on Boston College's campus, it's an illuminating piece that speaks volumes about the culture of our school.

In a previous column, I celebrated the events hosted by the GLBT Leadership Council (GLC) during National Coming Out Week and asked people to attend them. The article this week suggests that my column did little to open people's minds. That so many in the GLBTQ community are uncomfortable coming out shows that, even though the administration (as of late) condemns discrimination against members of the BC community on the basis of sexual orientation, a significant portion of the student body apparently still has no problem making offensive comments or jokes about being gay.

As the article pointed out, much of the discomfort that members of the GLBTQ community at BC experience is rooted in the stereotypes with which they are labeled. Being gay is only fine, it seems, if the two people in a relationship are girls, and only if they happen to be hot. One interviewee's remark that she has been asked to make out with her girlfriend merely for the sake of entertainment should cause everyone to be a little disconcerted. Just because someone thinks that it is a fascinating novelty to watch a gay couple make out shouldn't make it any more socially acceptable to ask them do it. I don't think I've ever heard of anybody asking to watch a heterosexual couple make out, and for good reason - because asking a question like that is weird, impolite, and, to be blunt, quite juvenile.

Clearly, the attitude toward homosexuality on campus does not lend itself to encouraging people to come out. Because of this, as the article mentions, many members of the GLBTQ community members on campus find it difficult to have a healthy relationship. That this attitude exists demonstrates the inability of many of us to put ourselves in other people's shoes. Imagine what it would be like if you had a crush on a person or were in love with someone, yet were afraid to show it to them not because of how that person would react, but because of how your family, your community, or your society would react. You would likely feel frustrated, alienated, and perhaps even depressed. This is the reality that many people who are GLBTQ face, and yet the rest of us seem to think it's a null issue. It is not.

The remarks people make about being gay have very real consequences, particularly on the emotional health of gay people. To dismiss these remarks as  just jokes or just words is naive and inconsiderate. It's no longer socially acceptable to make disparaging jokes and comments about race and the same should go for making disparaging jokes and comments about sexual orientation.

Our behavior is motivated by the beliefs and attitudes that we hold. When someone makes a joke (though it may not be malicious) about being gay, it demonstrates that they believe they are not offending anyone; or, if they do believe that they might be offending someone, they don't care very much. The fact that this seems to be the way many people think demonstrates a fundamental flaw in our society and community - a shameful aspect of our culture that we should make every effort to do away with.

People are more willing to alter their behavior once they have altered their attitudes. Thus, if we ever hope to change the way people behave, we must first change what they believe. People should base their beliefs about being gay only on their own interactions with people who are gay or people who have gay friends - not on whatever stereotypes or preconceived notions they may have about homosexuality. It would do much to enhance the quality of BC's social atmosphere if everybody were to feel comfortable expressing themselves however they wish to; the campus would be far more attractive and welcoming not only to the people looking to attend BC, but, more importantly, to all of us who already do.