Published: Sunday, February 17, 2013
Updated: Sunday, February 17, 2013 19:02
Fanatical About Froyo - This Thumbs Up is not just another fact of life/occurrence of which we have a positive opinion and are using this column as a place to air that opinion solely for our own amusement. No, this one is a vital piece of information that all Boston College students must know if they wish to fully enjoy their time here: Frozen yogurt from Angora Cafe is absolutely the best food item you can get delivered to your dorm room. This is not hyperbole. Our faithful readers have probably never read a sentence in this column that we have meant more earnestly than the one two sentences prior to the sentence you are currently reading. Seriously, drop whatever you are doing and create a Foodler account and order some right now (we suggest raspberry with dark chocolate chips). You can thank us later.
Slush City - After Boston College found Nemo and got the fitting reward of a day off classes, we are now being faced with the harsh lesson that nothing in life is free, as we trudge through piles and piles of cold, wet, brown slush on our way to classes, the dining halls, practice, rehearsal, etc., each day. The hardest part of this is not the mysterious specks that we realize are now covering the backs of our pants; nor the dread that sets upon us with each approaching car that seems to be going a little too fast and carrying the possibility to drive through the pile of slush perched perilously between us and the aforementioned vehicle and spray it all over us; nor even is it the gross “buh-lech-guh” sound each step across it makes. No, the worst part is that we are able to remember what it once was and the beauty it possessed. Slush is like the bitter, mean, attention-seeking, now middle aged and prematurely wrinkly former child star that we gaze upon with all the more disgust because we remember the adorable adolescent it once was. Good riddance.
Return of the Dust Bowl- While we’re doling out weather-related thumbs downs (as we are wont to do, probably too often), let’s talk about this wind. The dust bowl is back, guys! But before you get excited, let us clarify: we’re not talking about the ante-Stokes pleasant stretches of grass perfect for games of Frisbee, naps in the sun, and reading Walt Whitman. No, we’re talking about the 1930s, Great Plains, actual dust kind of dust bowl (the OG Dust Bowl, as it were). Except this time around, it’s not dust, but snow, being lifted from the stretches in front of Stokes and swept violently through the air at innocent college students just trying to get to their midterm on time. So to all who lamented the loss of the dust bowl and asked for it back, we say this: Be careful what you wish for.
Step Away From the Weapon - A youth hockey league in North Dakota has turned away from the traditional fund-raising items of cookies, Christmas wreaths, coffee mugs, and embroidered blankets in favor of an explosive new idea. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, they are hosting a gun raffle. In case you have already dismissed this as a misguided kid’s idea of a great business move, perhaps it would be enlightening for you to know that the New Hampshire Association of Chiefs of Police is doing the same thing. We don’t know which is more disturbing, a bunch of children deciding to bypass raffling off movie theater gift certificates in favor of firearms, or an association of law enforcement officers handing out hundreds of guns literally for free. All we know is we’re cancelling our North Dakota spring break vacation…