Published: Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Updated: Wednesday, February 20, 2013 20:02
Happiest Time of the Year - Once again, we are all reminded why America is the best country in the world: Girl Scout cookies. For those of you who gave up cookies for Lent, the Girl Scouts of America’s sweet smiling faces in Mac above the brightly colored boxes containing some of the tastiest delights this planet has to offer may seem like a cruel temptation (but c’mon guys, WWJD?), but for the rest of us, it is the surest sign that God exists during this cold midterm season. Only thing that would make this better? If Girl Scouts took Eagle Bucks.
You’ve Got Mail! - Like all personalities that have, through great skill or genius, earned renown in their own realm and, having mastered their craft, look for another outlet for their talent, the United States Postal Service is launching a fashion line. Called “Rain Heat & Snow,” the line will consist of “smart apparel” and accessories, and will be initially geared toward men. Needless to say, we anticipate this trend sweeping the BC campus. At this time next year, Sperrys and Vineyard Vines pullovers will be virtually obsolete. Men praised for “dressing well” will be those who most closely resemble the man who dropped your BC acceptance letter in your mailbox all those years ago. Visitors will mistakenly assume that our colors are light and navy blue, maybe with some bright red accents. Dogs everywhere will be overwhelmed and confused. But rest assured, this deserves a thumbs up. For we can guarantee that the shoes will be good for walking, and the spring line will contain a wide-brimmed floppy hat with a string you can secure beneath your chin. Can you say sexy?
How do you like your horse? - In case you haven’t heard, it turns out everyone in Europe has been eating horse on accident. While this situation can be considered legitimately problematic on several levels (mislabeling food is bad, for sure, and the “bute” that is found in horses can have serious health effects if consumed in very large quantities), but we have to question the outrage a little. If you’re freaking out/horrified with yourself because what you thought was a dead, cleaned, prepared, frozen cow from hundreds of miles away was actually a dead, cleaned, prepared, frozen horse from hundreds of miles away, we’re a little skeptical of your reasoning of the situation/perspective on eating. Also, if the worst problem you’ve encountered recently is that you unknowingly ate a little bit of Black Beauty that made it into your lasagna, we think you’re doing ok.
The Next Big Thing - A man was arrested for manhandling a manatee in St. Lucie County, FL a few days ago. Though you may think us animal-haters based on the previous Thumbs Down, we are horrified by this man’s actions. However, it is comforting to know that Florida has a Florida Manatee Sanctuary Act, which prohibits harassing manatees in any way. In addition, it would be wise to note that this man was caught because he had posted photos of his actions on Facebook. So, for all you job-seekers out there who may have scoffed at advice-givers who warn you to be careful about the pictures you are tagged in, it’s time to eat your words. This is what they were talking about.
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