Mar. 14 Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down
Published: Thursday, March 14, 2013
Updated: Thursday, March 14, 2013 00:03
Habemus Papam - In case you live under a rock with a sack over your head and noise canceling earphones on, you have probably heard that the new pope is a Jesuit! Yes, that’s right, one of our own. This is the most exciting thing to happen since Baldwin was featured in a SportsCenter commercial! The medley of news vans on campus yesterday is a testament to the fact that we, the members of Boston College, are now famous. We will venture so far as to say that we are basically the pope, by association. Because we are all Jesuit-educated, Pope Francis (the first! Bold move, by the way. Respect.) obviously will take seriously any and all of our suggestions for where he should steer the Roman Catholic Church. Thus, this is our decree: commence aggressively tweeting at him.
Go Green - St. Paddy’s Day is fast approaching! It is certainly a wonderful holiday: the day when all self-respecting Irish Catholics honor the good saint by drinking themselves into oblivion, as we’re sure St. Patrick, being Irish himself, of course, would have wanted. It’s the one day a year you actually feel cool for being Irish and are permitted by society to wear all green. BC students, take advantage of these wonderful things, don your shamrock studded headband, and avoid the preying pinches from the most enthusiastic celebrators. And Lord, on this most holy of days, forgive us in advance if we mistake whiskey for the Communion wine and the Mods for a Church.
Spring Ahead - We are noticing an upward trend in the projected high temperatures for the coming days. We’re on the lookout for the first girl bold enough to bust out a skirt (sans tights) to officially usher in the springtime. And although most of us are probably still lamenting the day we left Punta Cana, there is good news: Easter break is precisely two weeks away. Another three days off, and when you return, your best friend will finally be able to eat sweets again and will therefore be a much more enjoyable human. Hallelujah!
The Obligatory Housing Thumbs Down - The housing lottery. No other two-word phrase strikes greater instantaneous fear into the hearts of all BC students. The chances any one individual emerges from these weeks unscathed are about equivalent to the chances of getting an elevator all to yourself in Maloney at 9:45 a.m. on a Monday. Some advice for the fresh-faced first years who have never before experienced such trauma: 1. Do not sit in Mac between 12 and 1 p.m. on Monday, because, more likely than not, several tables of 8 will erupt in joyous cheers around you as you look at the message of death: no pick time. At that point, all you can really do is shoot daggers at your euphoric classmates, who will be too happy to notice/care, and this won’t make you feel any better in the long run. 2. Make a list of all the reasons CoRo really won’t be that bad, and force yourself to believe them. Convince yourself that Mac has the best food in the world, that the stairs will make your butt look great, that doubles are cozy, and that you’ll make a million new friends by once again having a communal bathroom, so you’ll basically be the most popular person at BC. 3. Take comfort in the fact that everyone has gone through this, everyone has hated every second of it, and it acts as a beautiful, albeit painful, bond that ties us all together into one big community of love. 4. Eventually get over it. If you go to BC, your life is pretty good, even if you have to live near freshmen as a sophomore.