Published: Thursday, March 21, 2013
Updated: Thursday, March 21, 2013 01:03
The Holy Four - Along with spring, March Madness has arrived. Because our very own Eagles will sadly not be making an appearance, we’re suggesting a collective praying session for any school Jesuit. We’re calling it now: Creighton, Gonzaga, Marquette, and Georgetown in the Final Four. Or the Holy Four, as it were. Jesuits, being the avid hoops fans they are, will flock to the games from all over. Pope Francis himself will make an appearance. The average age of the crowd will rise to 63, and the intensity of the trash talk will reach an unprecedented level. Get ready, all. The day of reckoning is coming.
Shackin’ Up - The Shake Shack has come to Chestnut Hill! This is almost entirely a good thing (hence its location under the Thumbs Up logo), except for the fact that it is located at the Chestnut Hill mall, which, as most of you have probably figured out by now—several of you the hard way, we assume—is the destination that brings “inaccessible” to a whole new level. No other place has a higher difficulty-to-get-to to actual-distance-away ratio. So if you see hordes of BC students trekking through the forest that is strategically located between campus and route 9, darting across several lanes of traffic, or scaling the cliff up to the parking lot that is conveniently lacking a walking path, you know where they’re headed.
Confession Obsession - BC Confessions deserves a Thumbs Down in our opinion. Not because the roller coaster of emotions one experiences when reading through it leaves you feeling as if you just listened to a Blink-182 album start to finish, but because it has imbued in each of us an obsessive need to be mentioned in a BC Confession. Don’t deny it. Everytime you get a Facebook notification, you pray that it will inform you that someone has just tagged you in a BC Confessions post. Forget good grades. Forget lucrative employment. Forget living in the Mods. There’s a new qualification for making the most of your time here: someone has to anonymously confess via an internet forum visible to the entire cyber-world that he/she is passionately in love with you/thinks you’re an inspiration to everyone you meet/wants to bang you. My, how far we’ve come.
That Awkward Moment... - This may seem aggressively specific, but it is something that has been irking us at TU/TD lately. Scene: the Comm Ave. bus. Time: late afternoon. You have just sat down next to someone you didn’t know because it’s been a long day and you just needed to take a load off and rest your weary soul. Then, the bus stops at South street and a large group of people disembark while a far smaller number board the bus. Suddenly, there are open seats galore. But your seatmate didn’t get off … So now it’s the two of you, cozied together in the corner surrounded by a sea of vacant seats. What do you do? If you stay, people may assume you know this person, which for some reason strikes you as horrifically awkward. Or, your seatmate may think that you have, in the past couple minutes of sharing their oxygen, developed an intense desire to befriend them (it was probably the moment you accidentally kicked them and then muttered “sorry” out of the corner of your mouth without looking at them that did it). You don’t want this either. On the other hand, is moving to an empty seat a dick move? Will it prompt them to worry extensively about fictitious body odor they are emitting? In summation, there are two types of people at BC: the kind that move in this situation, and the kind that stay put. Which are you?