Published: Sunday, September 15, 2013
Updated: Sunday, September 15, 2013 22:09
The Hillside Generation - The lines in Hillside have been shockingly manageable thus far this year, and we have a theory: the Hillside generation is expiring. Those of us who are seniors still remember the days when we lived on Lower Campus and we could get Hillside food on our meal plan—the days when we could sit at a high table, do our philosophy reading, sip coffee that actually tasted like coffee, and generally feel fancy, all on our meal plan. The juniors too remember when Hillside was financially accessible, albeit a 15 minute walk. But for the younger half of the student body, Hillside has always been a maybe-once-a-month splurge. Yes, by the time you get to junior or senior year and you no longer have a meal plan, you can use your precious flex plan dollars anywhere you choose, but if you’ve not cultivated the same love of Hillside that burned fiercely in the hearts of your predecessors, will you really start frequenting the posh campus cafe now? Our guess is no, you will not. And the lines will remain short for those of us who do need our weekly fix of a Hillside burger. And we deem that a good thing.
Watch This Now - We have, in the past, used this column as a forum through which to promote our favorite YouTube videos, and we see no reason to stop now. So heed our advice and look up “The Fox.” It’s a music video with 29 million views, and it poses a deeply philosophical question in a visually interesting way. Equal parts catchy, disturbing, and hilarious, watch it now so you can say you liked “The Fox” before it was cool. Because everyone wants to be that guy.
A Loss Angeles - So I guess our ritual Thumbs Up of the football team could only take them so far. It was not enough to help them defeat the Trojans of the University of Southern California. This Thumbs Down is not directed at the football team, but rather at ourselves for our hubris. We shall not be so vain in future weeks, and maybe the now humble, self-aware vibes we are sending to the football team will catapult them to victory.
Sucks to Sock - What’s the worst part about cold weather? You have to wear socks. There’s no getting around it. This adds at least 30 seconds to your getting-ready time—probably more, if the shoes you’re planning on wearing have laces on them (we loathe the person who decided Velcro is unacceptable for people over the age of six)—and when you take them off, they’re sweaty and gross and sometimes you even feel the need to wash your hands after peeling them off your feet—the unquestionably weirdest and most disliked body part. Also, socks are the item of clothing that you really cannot get away with wearing two days in a row. Because after one wear, they’re slightly damp and they probably smell, so it’s straight to the laundry basket for them. This means you have to buy about a billion pairs so you don’t have to do laundry every five days. Which means two billion socks to keep track of—a difficult feet (see what we did there?) when those evil washers and dryers steal a handful every time you actually have to do laundry because you’ve made it through your drawer full of socks. And then what do you do with the one sock? The whole ordeal is enough to make us want to quit school, pack up, and move to Hawaii where we hear socks aren’t even a thing.