Published: Monday, September 9, 2013
Updated: Monday, September 9, 2013 00:09
Undefeated Season -
Another solid win for the football team, and, being the typically superstitious sports fans that we are, we can’t help but wonder if our congratulatory Thumbs Up in the last issue was the thing that precipitated this second victory. And so we will once again laud our Eagles here, in the hopes that another victory awaits us this weekend in Los Angeles. Who knows, maybe the only thing standing in the way of defeating USC is a little Thumbs Up mojo. So we ask you here, football team: make us proud.
American Food -
Among Americans, it’s a pretty widely held belief that the good old US of A is the greatest country in the world—the borderline baffling number of giant American flags hanging in common rooms on this campus is a testament to the fact that BC is no exception—and there are many arguments for why this is true. The one that truly convinced us? Peanut butter. Anyone who has spent time in other countries has undoubtedly realized that this delicious spread is conspicuously absent from foreign diets. For those of you who don’t prescribe to the America-is-the-greatest belief, and God knows there are arguments in support of that as well, we ask only that you acknowledge the truth in what we have said. In the realm of peanut butter, the U.S.A. reigns supreme.
Where did all this Homework come from? -
Though college is frequently referred to as the best time in a person’s life, the first week of classes always makes us yearn for years past—elementary school, to be exact. Remember when the first week of class was all about “getting to know one another” and other similarly ambiguous and nonstressful endeavors? When your homework was just getting random things signed by your parents? You didn’t even have to actually read those things. But now, on the first night of class, you find yourself holding a book that needs to be read, digested, and analyzed in a mere five days. Suddenly, it’s a week into classes and you already feel like you’re behind. You find yourself sitting in O’Neill for endless hours on this first Sunday of the school year, longing for recess.
Sushi Emergency -
Fins has cut down their delivery hours by at least an hour and something must be done. Let’s face it, they pretty much have a monopoly on the sushi market around here, and when you’re hungering for some Hawaiian Maki at 11 p.m. at night, Eagle’s Deli is just simply not a suitable substitute. We are considering personally volunteering to drive the 10:15-11:30 delivery shift, so long as we are paid in endless sushi of our choice. The happiness that it would bring to our fellow BC Eagles would be worth sacrificing our Friday and Saturday nights for. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what men and women for others looks like.
Minifridge Freezers -
Why do they even have them? First of all, the only things college students ever want to freeze are ice cream and Rubinoff, neither of which will fit in that miniscule space. On top of that, the things that actually do fit—those single serving Haagen Dazs ice creams that are actually just two bites, for example (perhaps deserving of their own thumbs down one day)-—rarely remain frozen. And what are we left with but melted goop from the three ounces of coffee ice cream we bought a month ago out of inexplicable desperation to actually put that stupid freezer to use and promptly forgot about.