Overexpansion Is Slowly Killing Perfect Sports Tradition

Bigger is better in America. It's landed Tony Siragusa a sideline gig. It made Darko Milicic a higher pick than Carmelo Anthony. It even made everyone consider Barry Bonds' size-15 head a good thing.

So when it became widely reported that March Madness would be expanding to 96 teams, how could it be a bad thing? Coaches loved it. Networks loved it. Yet it caused most fans to react as if they found Tiger Woods' number in their girlfriend's cell phone.

Sports fans are willing to concede a lot of things, so long as the sanctity of the game they love isn't compromised. Do not touch our yearly bracket pool.

I consider there to be three purely perfect sporting events left: the World Cup, the NHL playoffs, and March Madness. You can argue anything else – the Olympics, the Super Bowl, whatever – and I will say no. Any time a spectacle like the opening ceremony or the commercials draw nearly as many viewers as the actual sport, you have already lost perfection.

March Madness is the pinnacle of what should be untouched. More classes have been cut by yours truly in honor of the first two rounds of the tournament than I am willing to divulge. (Sorry to any professors of mine that happen to read this.) I even dropped a class second semester last year partly because there was a "can't miss class" during the first round of games.

I've gone as far as riding in a broken down 1980s Volvo through a blizzard to avoid missing a second of UNLV-Georgia Tech.

Normally you might think that an extra 32 teams (well, 31 I guess. Thanks play-in game!) would give one-and-a-half times the fun. Wrong. Sure, a few more mid-majors would get a chance, and the Pac-10 would stand a chance at multiple bids, but who would get the majority of those bids? Middling power conference teams. If you really want to watch Auburn vs. Oregon for the right to lose to Kansas by 40, well, you can just watch the NIT.

Of course, Texas A&M-Corpus Christi and Co., stands less of a chance against the big boys, but that's what makes the tournament so great. I still remember Hampton upsetting a dominant Iowa State team, and Bryce Drew sinking a buzzer-beating 3-pointer for Valparaiso.

A great game between two heavyweights is a beautiful thing for sure, but it's the minnows attempting to flip everything on its head that bring out the sucker in everybody.

Oftentimes, the final bubble slots are a struggle to decide between which team is more wholly mediocre. A field of 96 means no longer are you looking for the mediocre – you are trying to decide which team sucks the least.

Imagine the selection committee deciding between a 18-13 Northwestern team that went 6-12 in the Big Ten and a 16-14 South Carolina team that went 7-9 in the SEC?

John Shurna! Sam Muldrow! This is March Madness!

By expanding to let in teams that floundered throughout the regular season, you open the door for teams like, well, Boston College into the big dance.

Look, I love BC basketball. To see Al Skinner's team scrape into the tournament with something like a 6-10 ACC record and those resume-boosting losses to Maine and Saint Joseph's would just make my day, and I assure you some "illness" will overtake me that Thursday. But it just isn't right.

The Eagles aren't dead in the water for the 65-team field yet. It would take some sort of miracle run from now till the end of the season. Rakim Sanders would have to enter some never-before-seen "eff-you, I'm scoring 30 tonight, and I dare you to try and stop me" mode, Reggie Jackson would have to tighten his handle, and Josh Southern would have to find both a secondary post move and a pulse.

Since that's about as likely as a steep drop in the school's cost of tuition, the NIT or, gulp, the CBI awaits.

Note: If Rakim really does decide to take that step (he showed flashes against FSU and Duke), I will eat my words as happily as I would a Steve's Sizzling Steak – trust me when I say very happily.

Speaking of the NIT and the CBI, could you imagine what those tournaments would look like?

We'd get first-rate ESPN2 coverage of Jay Bilas analyzing the length of Deilvez Yearby and the IPFW Mastodons against Prairie View A&M in the CBI championship. On the plus side, that would allow Digger Phelps to rock a killer Prairie View A&M purple shirt and marker combo. It's the little things that will keep me watching when CBS and the NCAA cash in on an extra week of pseudo-madness.

In addition to the billion-dollar contracts that are thrown about in return for the broadcast rights and advertising, it's the millions that coaches stand to make from their tournament appearances that will eventually push the scales toward expansion.

Even "old-school" coaches like Mike Krzyzewski endorse the expansion. Why? Because coaches are often judged by their ability to get the team to the main event in March. The more teams in, the more secure everyone's job will be, right?

Considering that it would set a new standard for which coaches would be judged, the advantage would be negated within a few years. Throw in the always prevalent economic downturn, and the only way a coach will get fired is if he takes up a Rod Marinelli level of losing or if some kind of abuse allegation from a player surfaces.

You can understand Coach K standing up for his brethren and maybe even trying to help his own chances in the tournament by watering down the field and hoping teams like VCU get knocked out before they can get to the Blue Devils, but it's an idea that is panned by everyone outside the decision-making process.

It's like the decision makers are sitting in a late '90s Enron board meeting. The CEO (schools), CFO (NCAA), and accounting department (networks) have decided it would be a great idea to cook the books.