Opinions, Column

Our Love Of Venmo And Whataburger

Thumbs Up

Venmo: We discovered this fantastic new peer-to-peer payment system called Venmo over the summer. It really made collecting utilities money from our roommates so much easier. Instead of having to send our cousin Vinny over to their rooms with a baseball bat to collect cold, hard cash, we just kindly requested that they remit payment via the Internet. It required no trips to the bank to deposit checks. It required no payments to Italian mobsters. (As a side note, you would be surprised at the size of the cut they take. We really lost a lot of money on that one.) It was quick and easy, just the way banking should be.

BoyhoodWithout a doubt, this was the best movie we saw this summer. It was beautifully done, and we believe it did a remarkable job of capturing the spirit of certain parts of Texas. For those of you who were wondering, yes, it’s true, we did say the Texas pledge in elementary school growing up. We did not know it was weird then. We certainly do now.

Thumbs Down

Thin Walls: When we lived off-campus, we thought that we had the thinnest walls in housing history. Then, we experienced the Mods. We would like to make it overwhelmingly clear that we are not throwing the Mods a thumbs down—just how thin the walls are there. We could hear the (incredibly inane) conversation of every freshman biddy and bro walking past our abode. Forget ever getting any sleep. Then, there is the noise from within the Mod itself. Those bedrooms are very small and very close together.

Latex Allergies: Do you know how many things you cannot do if you are allergic to latex? You cannot play with balloons. What kind of childhood is that? An incredible deprived one, that’s what kind it is. Think about every visit to the doctor you have ever had. Now think about those visits with latex allergies. It certainly would not have been as medically sound. Also, think about Chem Lab—how are you supposed to protect your hands from dangerous chemicals? There are just so many activities that are precluded.

Whataburger Deprivation: Every time we board our plane to come back to BC, we are sad about the great southern institutions we leave behind. One of those truly great establishments is Whataburger. Open 24 hours a day, they serve excellent greasy burgers, chocolate milkshakes, and, most importantly, honey butter chicken biscuits. For the uninitiated, a honey butter chicken biscuit might seem like a simple breakfast item, but it is so much more. From 11 p.m. to 11 a.m.—the only hours during which the item is served—it is the only acceptable thing to order. Each magnificent assemblage of golden-brown biscuit, fried chicken, and sweet honey butter is a life changing experience in and of itself. Our lives are empty without them.


September 4, 2014