Opinions, Column

Thumbs Down To The Bees That Are Out To Get Us

Thumbs Up

Chicken And Waffles: We first consumed this delectable dish in downtown Atlanta at Gladys Knight and Ron Winan’s. There, our eyes were opened to a whole new world of culinary delights. Now, that fantastic dish has made its way to Boston College. Good move, BC Dining, good move.

Civic Engagement: Tuesday was National Voter Registration Day, as our Vice President for Student Affairs Barbara Jones so kindly informed us. We support this effort to register voters. As educated citizens, we have a responsibility to participate in the wonderful democracy that the U.S. offers us.

Real Vermont Maple Syrup: If this is not the ambrosia of the gods, we don’t know what is. We prefer it when it comes fresh out of a tree. It’s even better when we tap it ourselves.

Thumbs Down

Aunt Jemima: We are offended that this is ever put on pancakes. It is a disgrace to waffles, to breakfast, and to the entire state of Vermont. It is uncomfortably thick. You think she is a sweet lady, but it’s all an act.

Creamer Dispenser: This is Week Two without a functional creamer dispenser in Lower. For two weeks, we have suffered through the indignity of having no French Vanilla and no Hazlenut creamer to put in our coffee. Our coffee is the fuel that keeps us functioning and we simply cannot bear to drink it unflavored.

Eagle’s Nest Cookies: What is going on here? Why have you taken away our everyday chocolate chip cookie? Now you only offer us pre-packaged jumbo cookies. What is this, a cafeteria for elephants? We just want a regular cookie.

SALT: We have unsubscribed from your listserv so many times. Why will you not take us off?!? It’s like the damn Hotel California.

OIP Emails: In case you haven’t noticed, various email policies of University departments really irk us. This might be the only theme that is a constant throughout our TU/TD columns. This is the 2014th year of our Lord—you can do so much better. This is a classic case of insensitivity toward seniors. Why, pray tell, are you emailing seniors about study abroad opportunities? For those of us who did not go abroad, you are rubbing salt (see what we did there?) into an open wound. For those of us who did go abroad, you are evoking a strong nostalgia for a better time and a better place, when we were happier, freer, and actually slept.

Bees Outside of Hillside: Just because we’re paranoid it doesn’t mean that nothing is out to get us. In this case, it’s the bees. We swear that the bees that dwell in the foliage on the patio of Hillside have a vendetta against us. What did we ever do? Why have we invoked your wrath? Why will you not let us eat our New England Classic in peace?

Featured Image by Emily Sadeghian / Heights Editor

September 24, 2014

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