Metro, Column, The T

No Pants, No Problem

If you haven’t seen something weird while riding the T, do you even go to school in Boston? As a weekly MBTA rider, I could argue that every experience on the city’s metro system has its quirks. Be it on my countless journeys to my 4Boston placement, Newbury Street for retail therapy and Georgetown Cupcakes, or even the few stops to Tasca for a break from the lower grill line, I can never be sure what I am going to get after I scan my Charlie Card.

From a lone, inebriated college student sprawled, unresponsively across the plastic public seats on a Tuesday afternoon to an old, bearded man reading—I say tentatively—Heart of Darkness upside down, the T really has shown me it all. Thrills, adventure, escaped dollar bills, forgotten lunches, awkward eye contact, uncomfortable conversations, terror, and anxiety are all things I have seen or experienced while riding the T (the latter two being direct responses to taking the green line the night of last year’s Miley Cyrus concert). Each time I step up the flimsy, folding doors of a train car I willingly submit to the will of the MBTA.

In line with my ascertains about the nation’s fourth busiest subway system and fifth largest transit agency, the T hosted a “No Pants Subway Ride” on Sunday afternoon.

Originally performed by Improv Everywhere in New York City in 2002, the pantsless trend has since spread to other major cities like Chicago, Paris, and of course our beloved city on a hill. This year’s public prank marked the eighth annual event, and was performed by about 250 of Boston’s most confident residents. Organized by BostonSOS, a society of shenanigans, this year’s no trouser T trip was followed by an after party at McGreevy’s Irish Pub and Sports Bar across from the Prudential Center.

In addition to this January tradition, the T also facilitates some other unique practices including the insanity that is the journey to Southie for the parade on St. Patricks Day or 32 years of free rides on New Years Eve. In the spirit of BostonSOS and their recent act of subway silliness, I thought of some other “T” traditions I would like to see instated:

The Tom Brady T-Ride

What better way to celebrate the Patriots playoff run? The only requirement is that all men wear Uggs, and preferably bring a Victoria’s Secret model along with them. If all of the Angels are busy, any other brunette, Brazilian supermodel will suffice.


The B-Line Appreciation Ride

Usually the B-Line is only happily frequented on Beanpot Monday, when BC students pack the train to enforce how much it really does suck to BU. This ride would celebrate the unparalleled inefficiency of the first branch of the green line. Riders would embrace the unnecessary amount of stops along Boston University and the delightful jerkiness and terror that result from the cars crossing traffic at Harvard Ave during their time consuming journey from Boston College to Kenmore.

A Yes Pants Ride

Why ride the T trouser-less when you could ride without excessive upper thigh showing? Do commuters really need to see that much leg on their way to work? Do kids on their way to BC High or Boston Latin want to be crammed up against your cheeks during their morning commute to school? Think of how unsanitary the T is without partial nudity, exposing so much of your self to that seems detrimental to your health—but I guess you have to already have some mental health problems if you are up for wandering the subway of Boston, sans-pants, in January.

Regardless of the absurdity of the T, the odd traditions like the No Pants Ride give one of the most industrial aspects of the city some personality. As long as people stick to subway shenanigans along the lines of BostonSOS as opposed to Frank Underwood, I am excited to see what new pranks arrive next in their train of thought.



Featured Image by Emily Fahey / Heights Editor

January 15, 2015