Arts, Review

Arts Critics Mull Over John Mulaney and Nick Kroll’s Podcast

This transcript has been edited and condensed for clarity.

Jacob: I’m recording all of you.

Steven: I didn’t consent to that, Connecticut’s a two-party state. I’ll sue you, I’ll sue you to court. 

Jacob: I’m not in Connecticut.

Steven: It don’t matter, that’s where I’m domiciled. 

Kaylie: Hellor, Cleors.

Jacob: Oh my god.

Emily: Oh my god.

Steven: That’s one of my least favorite things that you say.

Jacob: What did you say? 

Kaylie: It’s like this TikTok thing where there’s like, have you seen H2O, the show with mermaids?

Jacob: Yeah.

Kaylie: They have Australian accents so they say Cleor instead of Cleo, so on TikTok everyone’s like “Hellor Cleor” 

Jacob: Ok.

Kaylie: Okay. I really need a drink, hold on.

Steven, Jacob, and Emily: *Stunned silence*

Kaylie: Not like an alcoholic beverage, just something to drink.

Emily: Are you drinking water out of a wine glass? 

Kaylie: Yes. 

Emily: Okay.

Kaylie: Okay, who wants to start with the discussion? 

Steven: I didn’t like it. I didn’t think it was that funny.

Jacob: Wow. 

Kaylie: Oh my god, that was rude. 

Emily: Really? Like seriously? 

Steven: I mean, a little bit. I thought it was like, maybe it’s just the introduction, but I thought that they threw so many things together all at once. And despite it only being like 19 and a half minutes that—

Kaylie: There was one thing that they talked about.

Steven: They pushed them. Too hard. Is anybody on this call a regular listener of This American Life or has heard S-Town or any? Okay, well, so then, like, 60 percent of the jokes were like—

Jacob: I get who Ira Glass is and who Sarah Koenig is. Well, I thought it was better than you thought. I thought there were a couple bad things but also like most of it was good.

Steven: Is it making fun of Princess Diana’s death? Is that the bad part? 

Jacob: The Princess Diana thing, honestly, I’m medium about.

Steven: Because I think that’s the whole thing. I think that’s, I think they’re gonna keep coming back to it. 

Emily: That’s my question. Is that gonna be the topic of it going forward?

Steven: Is that the pod?

Jacob: I think it’s the MacGuffin. I don’t think it’s really about that.

Kaylie: Here’s what I think about…my first impression of this podcast. This is a serious comment I’m making is that I was really, really happy that they did not mention anything about coronavirus. Like, they did not play that angle and like it was really refreshing to hear any piece of news that was not specifically about coronavirus or some like weird sector that it has impacted, like it was very refreshing to take 20 minutes and just hear John Mulaney and Nick Kroll talk about something that was, like, not at all important to me. You know?

Jacob: Yeah, except they said we’re gonna win the quarantine.

Kaylie: Okay, well maybe I didn’t listen to that part.

Jacob: I don’t know, John Mulaney sounds kind of Trumpy at times with this, like, his voice.

Steven: I think it’s because he’s not trying hard enough to be the old guy and he’s just sounding like he’s from New York.

Jacob: I also don’t really need the Ira Glass-Sarah Koenig thing in this podcast

Emily: Um, well, I understand that that was sort of part of the whole thing. But I feel like every single time they were talking I just wanted it to go back to John Mulaney and Nick Kroll. I don’t really care about [Glass and Koenig’s] place in the podcast. 

Jacob: All right. Did you guys also think that Pete Davidson’s part in this was really funny?

Steven: Where he said he’d become an irrelevant person?

Jacob: Yes.

Steven: Yes. 

Jacob: And that no one takes photos of him for a positive reason.

Emily: Yeah.

Kaylie: What positive reason would there be for Pete Davidson to be photographed? Can we come up with some ideas?

Jacob: In contrast to Princess Diana, no one takes pictures of him for a good reason. I don’t think there’s really much else to talk about with this. Are we excited? 

Steven: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, I think I think I think we should briefly—we should briefly discuss the celebs at the end besides Pete.

Jacob: Yeah. We have John Oliver, Pete Davidson, and Lin-Manuel Miranda.

Steven: Was that it? I feel like there were more.

Jacob: There was a medium whose name we don’t know and a British person whose name we don’t know. Okay. So just to wrap this up, are we excited for the rest of the podcast? 

Kaylie: Yes!

Steven: Your arms look pretty good on this shot here. Just a by the way.

Jacob: Yes, we are excited? 

Steven: I’m excited to see if they have any new—any content that isn’t just somehow mirrored from what they did in the play. And this was just bits that were not directly recycled, but the order and general vibe of it was very similar to the play.

Jacob: Well, it’s called Oh, Hello: the P’dcast. So.

Steven: Yeah, well, they should expand. This is a cinematic universe we’re talking about now. They could have done a TV show, they could have done a motion picture, they said. But they didn’t want to.

Kaylie: Who do you guys think they’re gonna have on the podcast?

Steven: Well, if you listened to the end, you’d have a little, little idea about that.

Kaylie: I think, having not listened to the end, I think that Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker would be great guests, considering that they’re both supposed to be on Broadway right now.

Jacob: I was supposed to go see their show.

Kaylie: Really? I really want to see it. I’m planning on seeing it, whenever quarantine is over. 

Jacob: All right, final thoughts.

Kaylie: Looking forward to it. Thanks for reaching out.

Jacob: Emily?

Emily: Eh.

Jacob: Steven?

Steven: I want something new. And I want John and Nick to deliver. 

Jacob: All right, great.

Featured Graphic by Ally Mozeliak / Heights Editor

April 16, 2020