Opinions, Column

Goodbye, Suffolk Downs, At Least We Still Have The Gilmore Girls

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Blue LEDs: We love these just about as much as we do red LEDs, but these won a Nobel Prize.

Netflix: Thank you, Netflix, for bringing Gilmore Girls back into our lives. It has some of the wittiest dialogue we have heard in a television show. Although we don’t really have the time in our lives to watch it right now, we are going to make room.

Success at Success: You might have achieved success, but have you achieved success at success?

Columbus Day: It has been a long semester already, and we are more than ready for a three-day weekend.

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Singing After Midnight: It never ceases to annoy and frustrate those of us who just need to get some work done.

Fire Alarms: Does nobody know how to cook?!?!?!?!?! We have had two alarms in as many days in Ignacio, and it is getting really old. Stop burning your toast at 8:40 a.m. when many of us are trying to sleep. Put water in your Easy Mac, and don’t leave your popcorn in the microwave too long when you get the post-midnight munchies. We get it—you’re hungry, but so are we, and you don’t see us burning stuff at preposterous hours. Get it together.

Repetition: We really hate it when a professor explains a concept and then spends the next 20 minutes saying the exact same thing in slightly different words.

Repetition: It greatly irks us when a professor explicates a theory and proceeds to use the following 20 minutes to convey the same concept using altered vocabulary.

Poor Timing: Of all the times maintenance could have chosen to refinish the main doors of Stokes, why did it choose the middle of the day? Almost any time other than the one in which the greatest number of students are trying to exit the building would have been preferable.

More Anonymity: Rumors are flying that Facebook will soon launch an app that will allow users to communicate anonymously. Sounds like a recipe for disaster. After all, look how YikYak turned out. Also, we would like to hone in on one specific part of the release—the employees who spoke to The New York Times only did so on the condition of anonymity.

Closing Time: The final race at Suffolk Downs was held on Saturday. The bugle called the horses to the gate for the race to begin for the final time. The great machines of muscle and marrow jockeyed for position in the one-mile oval before a crowd of over 9,000 for the final time. And one first crossed the finish line for the final time.

Featured Image by Elise Amendola / AP Photo

October 9, 2014