Opinions, Column

You Can Only Have One Best Friend

Last column I talked about dating apps and whether or not the Boston College hookup culture is something for you. This week, I will be expressing my opinion about “best friends” and the person you spend the rest of your life with (whether it’s a partnership, union, marriage, etc.).

At BC, there are a lot of professors who have found their permanent co-author and sealed it with a ring and a signature. Others have found their lifelong passion, which holds more consistency than any human being ever could. Either way, they all love to talk about the loves of their lives. During the fall semester, we see a lot of newly married couples taking wedding photos in front of Gasson because they met their eternal tailgating partner here. Whether that was in Walsh or in Courage to Know, they successfully connected with their best friend and now their endless Valentine.

With that being said, I believe that if you are going to buy someone a gift every February 14 for the rest of your life, that person should be your best friend. And no, YOU CANNOT HAVE MORE THAN ONE BEST FRIEND. Grammatically and logically speaking, your “best friend” is the “BEST” out of all your friends.

The 4 Categories of Friendships in the Modern Age:

[Family members are excluded from the following categories, this is not Game of Thrones]

  1. Best friend
    1. Max category capacity: one
    2. You cannot imagine living without them on this earth
    3. First person you want to call when ANYTHING happens
  2. Close friend(s)
    1. Inner ring of no more than a three people
    2. You know the big changes and events that happen in their lives
    3. The people you tell information to AFTER you tell your best friend (2nd, 3rd, 4th place)
  3. Friend(s)
    1. Amount may vary depending on what point you are at in life
    2. You see each other in different environments besides a desk in Stokes
    3. Weekends are most likely spent trying to out-drink each other
  4. Friend of a friend
    1. Infinite branches of acquaintances
    2. You occasionally know their name and possibly have their number because of that one time you needed notes for that class you didn’t go to Monday morning
    3. More often, you acquired their Snapchat on a Friday night while you both were intoxicated in the bathroom and they said you’re going to be “BEST FRIENDS”

Those of you that are similar to Kim K and have 50 best friends … surprise, 46 of them are just friends or acquaintances who fulfill nothing in your life except your ego.

Now that we have established and accepted that everyone can only have one best friend, it is time to discuss the person you cannot legally testify against after being pronounced, your partner in crime, your for better but mostly for worse: your forever partner.

However, I feel as if I need to clarify: Your life long partner/best friend does NOT have to be your soulmate. Merriam-Webster defines soulmate as “a person who strongly resembles another in attitudes or beliefs” (2019). Your soulmate could be your mother but she is not your best friend. As I stated earlier, none of your family members are categorized in these friend groups. But a family member can be your soulmate because of the possibility that they understand you on a deeper emotional level that is impossible to attain with someone who did not either raise you or did not grow up with you.

Before getting down to business, consider these questions: What is a best friend to you? Is it more meaningful for your best friend to be able to say something you want to hear or something you need to hear? Is a best friend the person who understands you better than anyone else?

In my eyes, a best friend is the one who gets you at times when you are asking the question, “what am I doing?” Pretend your relationship is a chess match, but your partner knows your move before you even know how to. Every emotion is able to be felt and expressed because you are willing to reveal all the parts of yourself to them without a second thought. The key to a blissful best friendship is a mutual understanding of each other. Or if you just want a best friend who will never say “no” to a dumb idea, that’s fine too.

Now, what does your ideal timeless love look like? Have you ever thought about it, or am I talking to the wrong crowd?

Personally, when I have an endless love with someone, it would feel like a sense of home, no matter where we are. It would feeling as if my honest, true self belongs in the arms of the other person (cliché, I know). There is an understanding that me and the other person have with no one else, nor do we want it with anyone else. We would be constantly showing thoughtfulness with situations that seem impossible to resolve. We are always willing to work together through the ups and downs because the other person is worth every ounce of what you can give. There is a sense of vulnerability that is comfortable because I know that the other person is just as exposed as me. Or if you just want a travel partner who you can stand to be with on a seven-hour road trip to D.C. or a 13-hour flight to Japan or even a 2-5 month hike on the Appalachian Trail, that seems fitting too.

Based on the listed characteristics of both a best friend and your everlasting love, the person you want to spend the rest of your life with SHOULD be your best friend. What most people look for in a significant other is often what ends up being the same as what a best friend is to you. Just a note for next time, opposites do NOT attract in relationships.

February 10, 2019