Colorful boxes filled with sweet treats are in the hands of nearly every student on campus this week as the long-awaited Girl Scouts have arrived to sell their cookies. Whether you’re tasting Tagalongs at lunch, devouring Do-Si-Dos in bed, or savoring Samoas in class, we’re here to tell you one thing: what your favorite Girl Scout Cookie says about you.
If you’re indulging in these caramel-drizzled brownie cookies, you live the lux life and you’re brutally out of touch with the real world. You probably pretend you’re in a Lindt Truffle commercial every time you take a bite of one of these, and you store the box in your canvas tote bag for safekeeping.
Caramel Chocolate Chip
If these oat flour–based cookies are your favorite, you’re probably gluten-free and I don’t know what it says about you other than that.
Do-si-dos or Peanut Butter Sandwich
These cookies are dry as hell, and so are you. Like Do-si-dos, you’re not the most interesting or exciting choice, and that’s okay! Every good group needs a few practical and logical individuals to balance out the chaotic ones.
Reaching for a box of Lemonades reflects a deep psychological desire to reject the norm, which is a good thing. You rebel against the Thin Mint–pushing establishment, embracing the weird and having fun while doing it. Kudos to you!
These zesty cookies are embossed with little inspirational messages, so chances are you’re not doing too hot if you’re reaching for one of these. Work on finding better sources of positive affirmations than citrus-flavored shortbread.
Raspberry Rallies are a new addition to the Girl Scout Cookie roster, so putting this on the top of your list can mean one of two things: You’re either easily excited … or extremely flaky (probably both). Make sure to return to this article and reread when your favorite cookie inevitably changes.
Samoas or Caramel deLites
Shortbread cookie, caramel, toasted coconut, chocolate drizzle—these cookies are a little chaotic and so are you, but not always in a good way though. You haven’t cleaned your side of the room in months, and you always abandon the group during a night out.
Here, under the guise of female empowerment, Big Cookie has perverted the universally loved s’mores combo, commodifying the spirit of campfires and summertime. These cookies taste like profit-driven banality, so if these are your favorite, you are likely a corporate plant, soulless and vacant as you sell out the human spirit for one more dollar.
Tagalongs or Peanut Butter Patties
The peanut butter and chocolate combo is always a safe bet. These cookies are unproblematic and basic, so with these as a favorite, you’re probably used to taking the road well-traveled. But don’t be afraid to spice things up once in a while! Try a Raspberry Rally, wear a wacky outfit, start a conversation with a classmate you’ve never spoken to—whatever stirs the pot.
These light, crispy treats are a Girl Scout classic—and the most reliable indicator of character. If you swear by Thin Mints, you likely emulate the refined, sophisticated energy that comes with having good taste (just ask Reese Witherspoon).
These are the bizarre choice, and you like to think of yourself as a little bit quirky. When someone asks whether you like pancakes or waffles more, you answer “French toast!” just to be different. You’re not, sweet cheeks.
For those who aren’t well-versed in Girl Scout Cookie discourse, Trefoils are something of a controversial favorite to have. In a world of Thin Mints and Samoas, the Trefoil is a bit lackluster but grounding. You’re probably a pillar to your friends, and I commend you for it—but maybe be more adventurous with your cookie choices.