The worst thing I ever did to Arts Editor Sofia Torres was ask her to be on aux.
Most people get stressed out by the idea of having to expose their music taste in a public setting, and she’s no different. The first time I ever asked Sofia if she wanted to pick the music, in her own living room no less, she looked at me like I’d just told her I hated her.
But the thing is, Sofia secretly loves being on aux. Once you give her control of the song queue at a function, it’s like she’s the only one in the room. Is she playing crowd favorites? Not really, but if you’re looking to feel like a mildly delusional person in a ’50s jazz club, she’s your girl.
Sofia, you might be a JBL speaker’s worst nightmare, but in the words of the first song title on your playlist, “You’re the Top.”
She might also be a little over-the-top, but in the best way possible.
Sofia’s second track, “Me & Mr. Jones,” fully embodies Sofia’s occasionally obsessive but fully honest attitude toward the people in her life.
“You can’t keep lying to yourself like this / Can’t believe you played yourself like this,” Amy Winehouse—also Sofia’s Halloween costume last year—sings.
Sofia’s the kind of person who will tell you when you’re being crazy, but will fully support it. She’s also a romantic, although her music taste doesn’t always suggest it.
Going from the film Annie Hall’s sentimental tune “Seems Like Old Times” directly into “Hard Hearted Hannah” by Nancy Sinatra would make anyone else worry Sofia was on a path of heartbreak-fueled revenge, but I know she just likes to keep people on their toes.
“Leather is tough, but Hannah’s heart is tougher / She’s a girl who loves to see men suffer,” Sinatra croons.
I’ll keep quiet on whether those lyrics apply to Sofia. For any men out there reading this who are getting worried, her next song will put you at ease. “I Just Want to Make Love to You” by Etta James is a jazzy and powerful love ballad.
“And I can know by the way you treat your girl / That I could give you all the loving in the whole wide world,” James belts.
I imagine Sofia walks through campus listening to this as though she lives in a ’50s musical set in some classy European city, and not the suburbs of Chestnut Hill. In fact, I’m frequently convinced Sofia lives in a separate world from the rest of us, and her music choices have only convinced me more.
The next two tracks mirror James’ jazz rhythm and smooth voice, but they couldn’t be further from her message. Fiona Apple’s “A Mistake” takes us back to Sofia’s regularly scheduled delusional programming with cryptic lyrics to match.
“All the advice I shunned and I ran / Where they told me not to run / But I sure had fun / So I’m gonna f—k it up again,” Apple sings.
Sofia, like Apple, is self-assured and confident, despite occasionally questionable decisions. And she should be—she’s given me some of the best advice I didn’t know I needed.
Directly following is Eartha Kitt’s “Want To Be Evil.” I can’t justify this one. One of Sofia’s most commonly used phrases is “guys, I feel crazy,” usually followed by our assurance that she isn’t. But this song might lead me to agree with her.
“I wanna be evil, I wanna be mad / But more than that I wanna be bad,” Kitt sings.
“Eres para Mí” by Julieta Venegas and Anita Tijoux is up next, and is far less concerning than the two previous tracks. I’m still watching my back at the next production, though.
The Latin pop/hip-hop song has exactly the same energy as Sofia’s typical aux lineup. It’s smooth, catchy, and above all, makes you want to dance. Sofia is dancing even if no one else is, and Venegas’ and Tijoux’s synth beat is perfect for that.
The next track is one of my personal favorites on the playlist. Prince and The Revolution’s “Kiss” is another classic dance track, and his lyrics also speak to one of my personal favorite things about Sofia.
“You don’t have to be rich to be my girl / You don’t have to be cool to rule my world,” Prince sings in a high-pitched whine.
Sofia is somehow cool and unpretentious at the same time, and she appreciates the same traits in the people she keeps in her life. I’m lucky enough to be one of those people.
She closes the playlist out with Nina Simone’s “My Baby Just Cares For Me,” the swinging piano flip side to “Kiss.” Similar to Prince, Simone sings about loving someone who doesn’t care about money or appearances.
“My baby don’t care for shows / My baby don’t care for clothes / My baby just cares for me,” Simone sings.
After an absolute emotional rollercoaster of a playlist, Sofia brings it back to the simplicity of jazz piano and love songs. Although “simple” is the opposite of what I’d use to describe Sofia, her emotional depth is unmatched, and her playlist shows it. I’ll say it—someone needs to put this girl on aux.
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